tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post7831666248101191091..comments2023-10-30T07:37:47.833-04:00Comments on whatiwonder: summer campgreengirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897315716330033528noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-8253671328691637292010-06-14T18:43:56.108-04:002010-06-14T18:43:56.108-04:00I didn't mean that it should be about punishme...I didn't mean that it should be about punishment really... more about finding closure. I was just pointing out why some submissives feel they need punishment, because of that feeling of not being able to let things go. Hope you are able to sort things out soon, though. It's really a sucky feeling.<br /><br />*hugs*<br /><br />turiyaturiyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04611694817150215324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-61457516548212240542010-06-14T08:52:35.937-04:002010-06-14T08:52:35.937-04:00Elysia,
You are so absolutely right. He is facing...Elysia, <br />You are so absolutely right. He is facing emotional growth and self examination like he never has before. I think it is good for me to remember that, without trying to guide it. "In the moment" I am learning to focus on the moment, and not try to read his mindset. It took me awhile, and I think it was an important step for me.greengirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06897315716330033528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-86294126639225932572010-06-14T08:52:35.938-04:002010-06-14T08:52:35.938-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.greengirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06897315716330033528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-89560740360962356392010-06-13T15:15:44.742-04:002010-06-13T15:15:44.742-04:00GG,
You said, "We have reached the point that...GG,<br />You said, "We have reached the point that I believe it will be me who's boundaries are stretched or pushed, or maybe limits reached, not his."<br />I know that you probably mean,this particular planned event. <br />This made me "wonder", perhaps their boundaries are different than ours. I feel that my husband's stretching and pushing are happening in a more emotional and nurturing/guiding way, where mine are physical and logistical. I'm sure that for yours, he is working on pushing your limits and helping you "stretch" and still trust him and "feel safe",which is the way you say he makes you feel. It can't be easy to provide that balance. There has to be constant "reading and adjusting" on their part. I suppose this means he is venturing beyond his own boundaries. Of course, it's hard to focus so much on what THEY must be experiencing, when it takes so much focus to "be stretched and pushed". <br />Your post made me think about this.<br />I'm glad you're feeling better about "things".<br />ElysiaElysiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15284256494178026716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-33295469722535144132010-06-13T06:54:53.121-04:002010-06-13T06:54:53.121-04:00Turiya,
I have been thinking a lot about that very...Turiya,<br />I have been thinking a lot about that very thing. I am seeing the other side of it at this point, the benefits. We are talking about it a bit and I will try to untangle all my feelings enough to write it out. <br /><br />This case is different in that, it stemmed from us each understanding a very important concept in fundamentally different ways. He was genuinely and rightfully hurt and very angry, but I was genuinely and honestly not guilty of having done anything wrong. That was and is part of the difficulty, I feel awful about hurting him, but i couldn't have known or avoided it, and I'm just not sure how punishment fits into that picture. <br /><br />We have gone a long way toward sorting it all out. I am feeling much better today. Thank you.<br /><br />Sir J,<br />Your're right, I did ask, and I never would have imagined, and it has been very good - and in unexpected ways.greengirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06897315716330033528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-54857256036558450122010-06-12T23:06:03.049-04:002010-06-12T23:06:03.049-04:00funny how things work out, you ask and you get. S...funny how things work out, you ask and you get. Some how though it is never quite like we imagine it. Not to worry it's all been better than you imagined and this will be too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-62593518356022296982010-06-12T19:41:51.394-04:002010-06-12T19:41:51.394-04:00Okay... well first of all, I know exactly how you&...Okay... well first of all, I know exactly how you're feeling. This is why some of us kinda need that punishment. It helps get us passed that feeling of not being able to let go... to accept that it's over and done with. I'm not suggesting that you need punishment or that you both should take that path... just pointing out that maybe in some way you need some closure with this issue before moving ahead.<br /><br />Also... keep in mind that punishment, correction... whatever you want to call it doesn't have to be physical. It can be as simple as writing an essay or something. Asha feels that the focus of a punishment should be on correcting a behavior and finding closure... not demeaning someone for being "disobedient" so to speak.<br /><br />So maybe you ought to think about writing down what you're feeling about the issue. Also let him know that although he's told you it's over and done with, you're having trouble letting it go. Ask him if he can help you find closure and discuss ways that would work for the both of you to get to that.<br /><br />I would not suggest going into a play session while you've still got these feelings. The reason I say this is because with the mindset you are in, you won't be able to enjoy it for what it is... it will feel like punishment to you. You will most likely end up hysterical and he will feel like he did something wrong... pushed you too far or something.<br /><br />It's really important that he understands where your mind is right now and that you both work through that first so it doesn't cause further issues.<br /><br />*hugs*<br /><br />turiyaturiyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04611694817150215324noreply@blogger.com