tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post8685134852156217476..comments2023-10-30T07:37:47.833-04:00Comments on whatiwonder: yes ...butgreengirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06897315716330033528noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-14799414200232037282010-12-14T09:52:48.028-05:002010-12-14T09:52:48.028-05:00Pygar,
I am seeing the point about "and"...Pygar,<br />I am seeing the point about "and" vs. "but". Less antogonistic is good. Honest communication of thoughts and wishes is good. I don't believe I should acquiesce automatically to everything - I do believe I should stop myself from reacting negatively or in a backhanded way - which i think "but" probably does in many cases. I wonder if using "and" instead is fundamentally different, or is it a word game or manipulation that belongs in some settings more than it does here. Thank you for the added context.greengirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06897315716330033528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-65146751059530061122010-12-13T18:15:34.146-05:002010-12-13T18:15:34.146-05:00"but"
Using this word carefully has to ..."but"<br /><br />Using this word carefully has to do with power and influence.<br /><br />In a vanilla context I too was advised to substitute "and".<br /><br />It stopped those who expected to be in power in this situation feeling antagonised - so ultimately giving me more influence.<br /><br />"and" implies acquiescence whereas "but" implies conflict - though of course after each word one can say exactly the same thing.<br /><br />But ...<br /><br />;)<br /><br />xPxPygarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11913556740445196578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-32558994475345763642010-12-12T17:52:37.324-05:002010-12-12T17:52:37.324-05:00Serenity,
thanks. I certainly don't want to i...Serenity,<br />thanks. I certainly don't want to imply i no longer argue - but it takes more thinking - so i can more often slow myself down enough to be more reasoned about it. adn i still have my just plain not-so-pleasant times too. <br /><br />Aisha,<br />I hadn't thought about the inherent contraditions aspect of it. I like the word conflictual. It does describe maybe the expressing my concerns vs. just arguing. <br /><br />Schiava,<br />I think that's in exactly - that i express myself not in a resistant way. I never doubt that he wants to hear my thoughts or what is going on in my head, as long as i can actually express that. I'm still learning. And thanks - i appreciate your support.greengirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06897315716330033528noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-82740290483859753702010-12-11T22:59:27.390-05:002010-12-11T22:59:27.390-05:00Hi, gg. i think aisha is onto something.
Padrone ...Hi, gg. i think aisha is onto something.<br /><br />Padrone wants to hear when i have a legitimate problem with obedience, or even something to input into a conversation or a decision for him to make. If i do so in a... resistant way, then of course it is not as effective as when it is said without sounding resistant.<br /><br />Padrone has always told me that i am free to say anything to him as long as it is said respectfully. That one word is what triggered my own journey into thinking how i phrased things, because it isn't the things we say, oftentimes, it is how we say them, that cause the most problems in a relationship.<br /><br />i'm loving reading your thoughts, gg. i love how you're allowing D/s into your relationship!<br /><br />*hugs*<br />schiavaschiavahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10954158336340577824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-18767630813067495262010-12-11T18:07:11.424-05:002010-12-11T18:07:11.424-05:00Great post - and I have a (maybe) helpful suggesti...Great post - and I have a (maybe) helpful suggestion. Um not that you asked for suggestions... but I can't resist. <br /><br />Try changing your "but" to "and." So you'd say - for example - "Yes, I can try harder AND it's really hard." "Yes, I think can submit more graciously, and what if I end up... (or) and I'm worried that... whatever." <br /><br />Ok, now that I've said it, maybe it doesn't make it different - but I practice doing it most of the time so that things aren't dichotomous and conflictual. It feels different to me. <br /><br />And in any case, neat post. Thanks.<br /><br />aishaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3865362691562112420.post-35419623729929888962010-12-11T15:41:07.275-05:002010-12-11T15:41:07.275-05:00Greengirl,
Great post! I will to give this some ...Greengirl,<br /><br />Great post! I will to give this some thought and notice how often I do this. <br /><br />Hugs,<br />SerenitySerenityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06885913777602699200noreply@blogger.com