Yes, oh God yes, and it terrifies me and makes me spin to hear this question, and i don't even know of any other way to answer this. Life is huge, you are huge, complex, in my soul and all around - there is so very much to it, to you, to us.... you are absolutely right for me, across all of it. I wonder every day what i did in my previous life to be so lucky in this one.
But i think what you're really asking is, "are there things you want that I can't give you?" And there are things i think about: some are simply fantasies, some are wishes, and some are things i think i want, would be good for me... And that's the rub - yes - there are things i want, or think i want, that you don't give me (I know the same is true for me to you).
Fantasies are just that - fantastical, not meant to be reality, ever. Wishes are fine - but i've never been one to get lost in wishing and miss the here and now.
And the last - the things i think i might want, - here's the thing - i don't want you to give me what i want just because i want it, but i do want it to be ok for me to have the wants, i want it to be safe, for you to maybe even use that for yourself.
And yes - i see the irony, the contradiction. I'm drowning in irony in fact. I want, i want, i want - i want you to control all of my wants, but i know you won't entirely do that, and in refusing to do what i want, you are...
It's on me - i need to figure out how to make it work, how to work with you, your way.
When you described it, what you want for us, your way - i felt peaceful and joyful and very much yours. When i try to be that - i feel lost, and very far away from you, and twisted around.
And i am twisted around - because i can see that it only gets bad when i start wanting, for me. And then i get trapped in that and can't see beyond myself.
I am working to shift my focus, to follow you.
Yes - you are the right man for me - absolutely. Please - I need your help.