Monday, June 8, 2015

blurred lines

No - not the song!

I wax and wane on this one (like most things) and it is something i think about more or less at times, but not something that really causes angst. My husband is sure of himself on this one though, and in the end (like so many other things) it's quite likely a very good thing that he is less mercurial than I am.

I think about meeting other kinky people, for just talking or for learning or maybe even for playing.   It's why i joined fet - to see if there is a kinky community nearby - turns out there is.  They have meetings and seminars and weekends and camping and playspaces and things to learn....  I seriously toyed with the idea of signing up for a seminar in fireplay - and surprising him - he is very intrigued by fireplay - but would not be happy about that kind of surprise.

I'm not sure why i want to seek a community based on our lifestyle.  We each have groups and activities we participate in based on our interests - not avidly - but there are benefits to meeting up with other people with shared interests - of course - this is our sex life and the structure of our marriage, not gardening or biking or biomechanics or football.

I pretty easily get lulled into a mindset that it's all perfectly normal, accepted and mainstream. It maybe ought to be (at least not abnormal and certainly accepted, maybe not mainstream).  But, the fact is that it isn't and i tend to ignore the reality that many people would find it disgusting, perverted, immoral and perhaps criminal.  And i conveniently forget what a small town this really is.

A few little things reminded me - a person i see pop up in my (local) friends' feeds on facebook now and then uses his same profile picture on fet - he has a very distinctive look, it's definitely the same person. And - my son was planning to go see the midnight Rocky Horror Picture Show with his friends at the local theater, so was a local kink group.

The lines in reality are blurred.  In my head they are sometimes non-existant.  And maybe the lines shouldn't be there at all because there really is nothing actually wrong with us, and maybe our sex-life should stay in our bedroom like most peoples' do....


  1. This!!

    Is what concerns me about Fetlife, its not that im ashamed at all about how i am, how we are etc, but nor is it something i have no wish to become 'public', and ok the chances are slim, but they are there, and there is more chance of coming across someone on Fetlife that i know (in real time, rather than online) than there is on blogger.

    Privacy is a huge concern for me, for my childrens sake as well as mine and Masters, he tends to think as long as we are careful it shouldnt be a problem, but i worry about it.

    1. tori,
      I think i probably don't worry about privacy enough - not so much an attitude of 'i just don't care' as it is that i just never feel like i'm interesting enough for anyone else to bother with. But that is naive and so it is good that my husband does think about this. Thanks.

  2. Clearly, you like meeting people a whole lot more than I do! ;-p

    I dunno.
    It's kind of like penis pictures…
    I only want to know that much about the people that I want to know that much about.
    Otherwise, I'd just as soon not sear my retinas, tyvm.

    This, however, is just one (extremely reserved) woman's opinion.
    I fully expect most people's mileage will vary. :-)

    1. Hmm - maybe that is part of the answer. I personally think penis pictures are - well - ugly. Even the most perfect penis needs context. In context, in the right context especially - they are quite lovely and desireable. So maybe it is the context of meeting people that i am looking for, like finding out that their voice fits them so perfectly.