vacation and kids

We are leaving this week for vacation.  We will be gone over two weeks - we've never taken such a long vacation before.  In looking at the next few years, it became apparent that this summer is the last summer we could do this.  College is right around the corner, and their need to really work more and save money for college are here.  So we are going all out and we will have over two weeks as a family, together.  With adventures.

Which isn't at all kinky - and won't be - we will be 24/7 with the boys; this is an active, outside, i'm a little concerned i won't be able to keep up, taking my boots not my heels or cute little sandals, kind of trip.

But it impacts us - our kink, our dynamic, our Dominance and submission.  Because our kids and our family are part of us.  

I assume - actually - i think it goes without saying - that people love their children, care for them, do whatever they have to for them.  It follows that a D/s or M/s dynamic has to accommodate children if children are part of the family.  Kids are stubbornly and fiercely their own people - more deeply and consequentially and less cute and adorably as they grow up.  And as the mom and dad they often impact or determine what we do, when, and how, and most of all - they have a big impact on our emotional state.  

Here in our household, in our dynamic, he doesn't play hard if he isn't in the right frame of mind.  He will use me to let off steam, amuse himself, take his mind off other stressors, help him fall asleep, for the fun of it, to satisfy an itch, or just because......  But he won't take out real frustrations on me and he won't use me hard if he doesn't feel like his own head is in the right place.  In fact, he won't engage in controlling me, even non-physically, if he feels he isn't resolved with his own emotions.  It doesn't happen often, but outside concerns do sometimes occupy his mind. The thing that has the most power to agitate him to that degree is our kids.  

Likewise, he won't push me if my head clearly isn't in the right place.  I don't mean just not quite feeling it or i'm in the middle of my book and would rather wait a bit (ha! because that might just go down well)....  He re-aligns me if i'm distracted or pushing back, or he feels i ought to be able to get my head in the game.  But if i'm really tied up in knots emotionally, he tries, because, often, being re-aligned, even somewhat harshly, is good for me in the end.  But sometimes even the beating doesn't really reach me.  He'll thank me for giving myself and my body to him, but he chooses to stop, to hold me, to let me cry, to talk.... And yes - the thing that has the most power to upset me to that degree is our kids.  

It's been a hard year kids wise.  I don't think a vacation will erase anything, or make the future any easier - the stresses they face at this point in their lives are actually kind of incredible.  I am hoping that the change in scenery, the escape from the "have-to's" here, and the fun and the physical of it will refresh and renew all of us.