Keeping M/s in the bedroom would never really have worked for us - i think we both realized that a long time ago.
It would be fun to have a relationship that was only about sex and intimacy and the play of power with all that. I think that (very, very hypothetically speaking) I could easily compartmentalize a relationship that involved play and pain and sex and fun neurotransmitters, completely apart from house and kids and jobs and pets and yardwork and family and politics and, and, and..... That play/sex relationship could be incredible - no distractions, nothing to bring it down, nothing but the fun. Since it's hypothetical - neither or us would ever be stressed, or under the weather, or unavailable either. ....oh, wouldn't it be loverly...?
I'm not, in fact, interested in engaging in any sexy fun, or intimacy of any kind, with anyone but my husband/Master - and neither is he (with anyone but me). That means that there is no real compartmentalizing - we each get the whole package, warts and all - ups and downs, fun and frustrations, our whole selves, all the time. Of course - it's the fact that we bring all of ourselves and our years together that allows us to be who we are with each other; the knowing and the trust are just so much more than they could possibly be with anyone else. That hypothetical, sexy fun would be so much more superficial and limited than with Him - it just wouldn't be the same.
Being His - really His - means serving too. I don't really mean keeping house, cooking, cleaning... Honestly - i did all that before and i would need to do it no matter what. Our division of labor (yes - there is a division of labor, he does a lot for me/us) looks like it always did and like a million other married/working families. I try to do nice things for him - i do think i could do more, something to work on for sure. And he does nice things for me - i don't think that will ever change, not outside of a scene or particular circumstance he sets up.
Serving means putting my ego and my wants aside to put his ahead. I've always thought that concept didn't fit for me. I would read people write about, "I live to make Him/Her happy, I just want to please Him/Her..." I've wondered if slave/submissive really fit for me - i do not always and in every case have his wishes/desires/happiness as my first impulse. My own ego asserts itself pretty strongly and i often struggle with feeling hurt, deprived, put-out, whatever. I do like to be able to please him, and i love him - i love it when he's happy, content, satisfied, enjoying himself, at peace, feeling good...
When doing what i can to help bring about his happiness and good feelings, wellbeing, etc., conflict with my wants and desires, i have to work to make that choice and to act on it. And i don't always succeed. It is especially hard when what he needs is room and freedom to see to the things he needs to take care of, when i can't materially help him, i can only back up and let him do what he must. The un-sexy, serving part of it is waiting patiently for his attention and time, relieving what burden I can, not being more of one.
It is full of paradoxes, this lifestyle: i am both more self-less (though hardly where i would want to be) and more greedy than ever before; and wants both of those from me, plays them both and enjoys them (putting words in his mouth - i believe he does in any case).