Sunday, January 17, 2016

why i like being spanked: an assigned topic

He rarely asks me to write about anything specific - this he told me to do....

So many people have written their answers to this.  And thank goodness too - I was not one of those people for whom being spanked played a center-stage if somewhat personally confliciting role in their imaginations for as long as they can remember.  I never imagined being spanked; as a child, when the reality was looming, it was nothing at all to be wanting.  But, as an adult, much later, reading what other people do write struck my imagination.

What others write so eloquently does answer a lot of why I like being spanked.  Maybe that's power of suggestion, maybe operant conditioning, maybe just a common human wiring configuration. But yes - to a lot of the common themes: it makes me wet and turns me on, it focuses my attention, it can clear my mind, it makes me submissive, it reminds me who's in control, it puts me in my place, it centers me and calms me, it debases me, on some incomprehensible level i like the pain and on a completely transparent level i like the attention.  All of these are true, some to different degrees in different contexts and with different types of spanking.  He knows all of these and uses them all to his advantage, which is to my advantage, which is to our advantage.

Most of those are effects though - not why's.  Why do I like being wet and aroused?  Why do i like my attention focused on him and my mind cleared?  Why do I want to be made submissive, or to be debased, or to be calmed and centered.  Why do I like pain or for that matter, his attention?

Well - some seem self evident - wet and aroused are good - especially if he's going to take advantage of them/me.  And if not - well - he likes me that way and i like being able to be that for him and i like that he likes it and anticipation is fun too - for me and also to see him in anticipation of what he wants - it's all good.

Being spanked does focus my attention - but not always completely, and it can sometimes really clear my mind - but also not always.  Some spankings are just not intense enough for these and, unfortunately, the intensity necesssary does seem to be increasing as we go through time.  That worries me because i think he finds that tool and that purpose useful.  I like when my mind can clear because it is a relief, even if a temporary one.  And it allows me to focus on him and to be what he wants without my own voices and self consciousness interfering.

This comes close to why/how it makes me submissive.  Sometimes consciously and sometimes very unintentionally and unconsciously, i fight him.  Spanking me to the point that my mind clears leads to me surrendering and opening to him - physically, metaphorically, metaphysically - take your pick. The debasement and humiliation are part of this.   And that he causes me pain - real pain.  It all puts me in my place and him in his.   Ultimately I want him - I want  his control, i want to be in that place of surrender to him.  [Why i want that and why i want him that way - I really don't understand, nor the thing with the pain...]

All of this though focuses our interactions and brings us together - too much in life distracts and pulls us apart and has us off in our own heads and our own worlds.  This focuses us on each other - in a way that for god only knows what reason - agrees with both of us.  There are millions of ways people interact and come together.  Him spanking me - in all its contexts and flavors, brings me so much closer to him - which is what he wants - which is what i want too.


  1. Ooooh, an excellent topic, and one with a lot of complexity. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, gg--you seem to be nearly as conflicted and puzzled as Joy is over at our house. I will point her to your post. I suspect she will recognize much of herself in it.

    1. Jake,
      Thank you. I suppose I am confliced - if i try to get at the root of why i work this way, why I like any of it... In the end though, I like the color green and i do like mushrooms and don't like beets, i find my peace in a forest and not at a beach. Who knows why? I have come to peace with the fact that i work this way and i don't think it's any more or less right than other ways - like mushrooms or forests or colors - maybe i don't need to know the ultimate why? I do think its good for me to think about and write out what spanking does for me, because it is good for me. Thanks.

  2. Good post, it is hard to pinpoint reasons, so many things are intertwined. When i am about to leave to visit the grands, Master's last words to me are always...stay close...because He knows that without the spanking element that is harder to do.
    hugs abby

    1. Abby,
      You have a wise master (that of course brings a flash back to i dream of jeanie...) You are absolutely right though - when circumstances get in the way, it is harder to keep our connection the way we want it without the spanking. Thanks.

  3. I quite often ask myself why I like being spanked but can never come up with a reason. Now you have brought to my attention so good theories. Thanks for sharing.
    Hugs Lindy

    1. lindy thomas,
      I can't take credit - i learned from all the people who wrote it out so elequently before me. But it has made a big difference in our lives. Thank you.