We visited friends at their home on a lake - they worked and saved and sacrificed to buy this home because it's part of their plan for their 'what comes next, after kids' and their 'when the kids have kids' parts of life.
It got us talking about what comes next - when the kids go off to college, when we retire, when we might start thinking about moving on to where and how we want to live when it's just for us. It's day dreaming, and we don't get to do it often. It's not discontent or coveting or wishing our lives away; for us, it's sharing our dreams, communicating deeply about Us.
That reverie about the future led to us to talk about how we see Us in the future. I admitted that i have never imagined we would still be this way when we get old. I don't think about it really - but i have always assumed that ttwd will run its course and fade away. I don't ever and can't really imagine when or how that happens, i have just never imagined that it lasts forever for us. He was surprised, and he surprised me when he told me he intends it to be part of us as long as we are us. That was bit thrilling and a lot comforting and- something - i'm not quite sure what?
When i was in my 20's, mid-40's seemed ancient, worn out, too old for fun, too old for sex, too old for anything but work - maybe my view wasn't quite that bleak - but i'm sure i didn't see it the way the reality is. Likewise, my view now of retirement, of 60's and 70's and on - is, I'm sure, skewed and inaccurate. So i don't know how i see our dynamic, how i see us then.
I asked my husband a shorter term question - i asked him if or how he sees our relationship changing once the kids leave for college....He said he didn't know what the big picture would be - but that it would involve a lot more nakedness and a lot more spanking.
Maybe they will decide to just stay home instead of college.....