Things (by which i mean work and regular life stuff and especially kids) have been challenging of late, some in a deeply concerning, break your heart kind of way. Somehow though we've managed to be both more solid in our dynamic and working more as a team to face things.
I'm guessing that 'team' is a construct that doesn't necessarily seem a big part of M/s for some people. Notice all the qualifiers - i really don't know what other people think - but certainly team and teamwork aren't discussed a great deal that i've seen. There also isn't a great deal of discussion of how other couples manage the child rearing aspects of life - not the really tough stuff, the things that need the tough decisions and united front. Neither of us believes we have the right answers at our fingertips all the time, both of us believe that our children warrant careful consideration, and our combined effort, the utmost that each of us can do.
It creates an area where we aren't M and s in the same way as elsewhere. For some time it was an area of transition, a place of disconnect from the flow of the dynamic. Tough times with kids are tough all on their own, navigating the shifting dynamic of our relationship at the same time, withdrawing out of the concern for the child, both of us being unsure of the best course - make it all so much tougher.
I can't explain how, but it's getting better. Things flow more easily. He is making me feel more secure in who we are - who we always are - and that is letting me feel more able to shift around in the me i need to be at a given moment. To write it out, it sounds like role playing - changing character as the scenes change....It's quite the opposite. Maybe that's the point - I had been trying to change characters to fit the situation, which sometimes felt like us taking on roles, it felt disingenuous. I'm feeling more whole, and more wholly His.