The thought occurred to me as i was drifting very quickly into la la land - does he really want me to fall into subspace? He's pretty good at knowing how to make it happen, and how not to. He can keep me there a long time, ramping up what he does but making sure i stay where i relax into it and fly. He can also pull me out of it and have me struggling and fighting for control, experiencing the pain rather than absorbing it.
Would he rather i not be enjoying it? Wouldn't that be really submitting? Wouldn't it be more exciting, appropriate, do more for him, if i were struggling and he could see and feel the extent of the control he has over me? What appeal is there to a person's sadistic streak if what he's doing is no longer actually being perceived as pain?
What's in it for him this way, if i'm the one having all the pleasure?
Of course those and all other thought quickly faded away and the rest of what i remember was a whole lot of impact, falling deeper as the intensity rose with each implement, then waking up a bit when he changed implements, falling all over again, at some point a large plug that overwhelmed me with very different feelings, clamps on my nipples and being moved around, pushed into this position and that, being fucked this way and that......
All these sensations, all this bliss - why would anyone want to be the top?