Sunday, May 4, 2014


My orgasms are a funny thing - every once in awhile i can be fully engaged, worked up and turned on, but just know that it won't happen.

My husband is funny about my orgasms - he loves to make me come.  I always feel i've let him down on those occasions when i know it won't happen.  Most of the time he gives me a "your loss" and carries on.

This was one of those times.

We talked about it afterwards, wrapped up in each other on the bed. This was different - this time.  I needed for it to be harsher and to push me.  I needed to have to work to give him what he wanted.  And I needed for him to just take.  

Mouse put it in words after my last post:  I needed to suffer.

It wasn't about sex this time.  It was about giving myself to him.  Surrendering to him.   There is always an element of that.  But this time I needed just that.  It's a whole separate but intertwined aspect of the whole thing.

Maybe fully surrendering would mean also giving him the orgasm he asked for, but my body is fickle  and after all these years, we're still figuring her out.  


  1. Yes, totally get it. Honestly, although Omega will sometimes say things like, not to orgasm or tell mouse sure she can orgasm but she'll be punished for it -- it's never, btw a serious or real punishment...part of the game...

    In general though he doesn't put a lot of restrictions on mouse when it comes to orgasms. Because he knows full well that they can just vanish. It's like one second, mouse will be nearly there and all ready and then "poof" where'd it go?!

    But it used to bother her more than it does now.


    1. Thanks mouse - i worry less about it these days - if he really wants it - that's hard - but if he's aloof and just moves on - somehow that's easier and, perversely, hotter.

  2. Totally get what the whole separate but intertwined thing.
    Sometimes, I think in that yielding or surrender, there is such comfort and assurance, no matter how it comes about.

    1. The surrender is so powerful, and so counter-intuitive.

  3. hmmm, this is something that I have been thinking about lately without coming up with such a fitting description...The need to suffer...It is it's won special kind of craving, isn't it...?

    1. so good to see you again lil. and yes - i think as we go on and on in this that i'm learning the flavors, and this is one i do need from time to time.