Sir J had some things to say on the topic of my last post. He no longer has an active blog, but he offered this guest post and I gladly accept.
I take care of her
I am a Dominant and if that was the title of the book of me then the sub title would be I take care of her. I see no contradiction in these two statements at all in fact I often wonder about the Dominant that does not think this way. For me the very essence of being a Dominant is control, I want to control everything, me, her, us, others, the weather, traffic, work, literally everything. When I was younger and more arrogant than I am now I use to say with some regularity "if they would just let me run the world" and people would laugh, I was only sort of kidding.
Now I know better and would not take the job even if they did offer it. However I do run my world and for the most part I learned a long time ago the only think I can control is me. I focus much of my energy on that now and I think it makes me a better Dominant and any number of people I know will roll their eyes and tell you it makes me a much better person, or at the very least less of an ass. The urge to control is always there though, just below the surface and never more so than with her. My submissive.
Controlling her is a delicate balancing act akin to herding cats. First there is the issue that she is smarter than I am, next the fact that she is a powerful professional at the height of her profession who makes dozens of decisions every day. Anything done that would take away all that she is and stop her from being all that she could be would be immoral and idiotic. Like many a top flight professional woman though she has moments of doubt and of being overwhelmed, she worries about being a good worker, a good Mom, a good wife, a good daughter, a good daughter in law, a good submissive and many more.
What I can do is take care of her, I can be strong when she feels weak, I can make decisions for her when she feels overwhelmed. I can take her mind away from the so called real world and I can focus it on my world. A place where she can just be and feel and go where her senses take her, I can focus all that she is on a single event or series of events that culminate in an explosive orgasm and I can hold her while she falls asleep with out a care in the world. I can decide if and when she will cum, what she will wear or eat how much or how little in any and every circumstance.
She calls it being taken care of, I call it control. You might look at and think she has me wrapped around her little finger, you may wonder how on earth I could be the Dominant and she the submissive. You might come to believe my opening statement is crazy. I know as she does that the only way I will stop looking after her is if she leaves and she knows as I do that she would only leave if I stopped looking after her.
I take care of her and I do it that makes me a Dominant and she is taken care of and she allows it that makes her a submissive. No contradiction at all.