I can get anxious, worried, fearful, and even dread what's coming sometimes, but once it's started, there's only one thing that induces panic.
I may (do) sometimes cry, yell, sob, struggle, rage all the way through, or at least until he lets me float off.
But only one thing he does makes me very, very afraid that i actually may not survive - that something, i have no idea what, spontaneous combustion perhaps - will certainly happen and i won't make it through to the other side.
It's the thing that trips my struggle over the edge from sincere to unaware of him and focused only on my survival.
And i am truly a total weenie.....
It only happens when he pins me on my stomach with his body, holds my arms above my head, pushes my hair aside, and bites my neck, then the spot just behind my ears - licking and blowing and nibbling then biting, hard, then my ears - with his tongue and his breathing and his teeth....
How do people survive that. I should have a hard limit, i really should.