I can get anxious, worried, fearful, and even dread what's coming sometimes, but once it's started, there's only one thing that induces panic.
I may (do) sometimes cry, yell, sob, struggle, rage all the way through, or at least until he lets me float off.
But only one thing he does makes me very, very afraid that i actually may not survive - that something, i have no idea what, spontaneous combustion perhaps - will certainly happen and i won't make it through to the other side.
It's the thing that trips my struggle over the edge from sincere to unaware of him and focused only on my survival.
And i am truly a total weenie.....
It only happens when he pins me on my stomach with his body, holds my arms above my head, pushes my hair aside, and bites my neck, then the spot just behind my ears - licking and blowing and nibbling then biting, hard, then my ears - with his tongue and his breathing and his teeth....
How do people survive that. I should have a hard limit, i really should.
You know, I mentioned something totally reasonable about limits the other day, mainly that I was drawing the line somewhere, (I'm sure it had something to do with my nose or ears) his response highlighted a flaw in communication--he said, "I know where to start now!" I may have shrieked something to the effect of, "No, no, no, no! it's not the Starting line!".
ReplyDeleteSigh* He was completely unfazed by my very sound logic...
You should totally have a hard limit. Then I can live vicariously through you.
After Lil's comment, what is left to say?
ReplyDeleteLil and monkey,
DeleteI only wrote this because I thought he already knew just how much I hate this thing. Apparently I was wrong. He grinned his wicked grin and said exactly the same thing, "now I know where the starting line is." You'll have to live the hard limits vicariously through someone else. When you figure out who, can you let me know so I can do the same?
Agrees with monkey! And nods to lil's comment.
DeleteHa! Sign me up to join in the vicariously living, please :)
There really *is* a difference between, "I really don't like this" and "ohmygodI'mgonnadieIcan'tbreathecrapit'shotshitIcan'tseenowit'scoldohgodI'mgonnadie"
ReplyDeleteyep.
Panic is NOT the way to my submission...
I'm with ya, sista.
wow. comments justify.
Deletewho knew??
Took me a minute to figure out what you meant by justify, I was reading way too deep. But yea, panic is not enjoyable in a not enjoyable way if that makes sense.
DeleteI feel this way about being tickled. There is honestly NOTHING funny about it for me. I am not sure I could accurately describe how much I hate it but my irrational level of panic is there. Could he use this as my "starting line"? Oh good God, NO. I would die. I'm not sure how, but I think that I would die!
ReplyDeleteXOXO Pearl
That's the feeling exactly - not sure how - but i'm sure i would not survive.
DeleteI had being tickled as a hard limit for years, long before I even knew that term for it! I gave it up .. oh gosh, last year? earlier this year? Last year I think, to his great glee. I am surviving. Just.
ReplyDeleteFunny how it's not the pain or harsh stuff that gets us - but something that sounds so innocent.
Delete