What happens when M/s has to take a back seat? When it just does because that is the way you (both He and me) have prioritized things -
I've always figured that it took a certain amount of resources to make M/s really feasible - not money resources, but time for sure, and the possibility of privacy - and also just enough spare mental energy on each side to put into the dynamic and do the work it needs - and i firmly believe it takes work on both sides. I recognized that we had that - not a ton - but we had pockets of time, some privacy. And we had the spare mental energy and emotional reserves. We could do the work, risk the lows, weather the hard parts. And it fed itself: the work and the risk made things better which led to more mental energy and emotioanl reserves.
Anyhow - those resources have all been reallocated for now. They have to be - his choice - but also mine. It is what is right. But i have to figure out how to be with this. How to be what he wants, what works, to be strong and still submissive, to be hopeful and not resentful, to hold onto the intimacy without the same connection, to keep it alive when we can't really feed it enough.