We've had a chance to talk a bit and it turns out I was pretty far off base. He made it very clear that he does not want to move backwards or to undo what has been done. The jist of it is that we will continue to require more of each other and of ourselves when it comes to communication - exactly what I screwed up in this case. Also, that he doesn't feel a strong need to feel like I am dependent on him, that he fell in love with me and married me in the first place because of my independence, strength, and sense of purpose. That he sees the goal of all of this to be elevating each of us, but moreso, to make us, the whole, more than we are as individuals.
Maybe this leaves us somewhere other than D/s or ttwd or anything like it, I really have no idea.