This is an entire area that is not at all worked out in my head. It's a tough subject for me to even approach mentally; and I haven't been able to do more than peek at the inner workings yet. That means that this post is more a statement of a problem than anything else.
Somehow throughout my life I managed to avoid having sexual fantasies. I don't know if my brain is deficient or if something happened to supress this part of me. I am only now beginning to start to fantasize, and I'm pretty sure i'm not doing it right (that part is a little joke.)
I do experience cravings though. They are very unformed and nebulous, but they are strong. When I have these desires, wants, cravings, itches - whatever they are, it puts me quite out of sorts and recently into a tailspin. I have trouble putting aside the things I imagine must be what I want or need. I become convinced that this or this or that will satisfy me and put me straight again.
Now that our relationship includes D/s, the sexual and personal and even the more mundane aspects of our interactions are all interwoven. This means that my ideas and cravings etc are all jumbled up. My reaction to this had been to form ideas about how our relationship *needed* to look or function. A lot of talking has helped. My husband has also started to change some things he does, or asks me to do, actually. This one is going to take us (me) some time to face and work out. But what I'm learning is that his way works. It isn't what i thought i wanted him to do, but it works, and it's better than what i had imagined.