There is a thing I probably was taught in kindergarten, but which I forget all the time: to be thankful for what I do have instead of wishing for something else.
In a story, in a perfect world, in the faerie tale, he would want to take just exactly the things I most want to give, my desire to please him would be matched at every turn by his desire to be pleased, his sexual needs and fantasies would align precisely in counterpoint to mine. Having my needs fullfilled isn't supposed to be fullfilling unless it just so happens to be exactly what he needs also. And I keep falling into the trap of thinking that anything less than the faerie tale just isn't good enough or is doomed to failure. Because - you know - we do live in the land of once upon a time and far, far away.
Focusing on not having the faerie tale keeps me from experiencing what I do have, and what I do have is a lot to be thankful for. If I can settle down enough to accept that he may want to give me what I want or need, even if it isn't a perfect fit to his desires, maybe then I will truly be able to give him what he wants.
It's a sad day when i start pulling my sources of wisdom from the Stones, but it is turning out to be so true - .....you can't always get what you want........... but if you try sometimes you get what you need