Saturday, February 18, 2012

in "off" mode

I ended up further into "off" mode than i think i have ever been.

Not a hint of feeling submissive, could barely remember what it felt like.

I only knew it was how i wanted to feel, but no sight of the path to get there.

There was a point at which we were both trying to get back, both scrambling...

It is astounding how far apart two people can get so quickly, how fast you can both roll down different sides of the same hill.

Words are words, their meanings are fixed and clear.  How can we communicate so well, so seamlessly, on, and have so little idea what the other is saying, off?

How is it that in a relationship - in a reality of two people being together - there are even times that things are on, and times when they are off?    We are the same people across time, same history, same context... What is it that changes inside to skew all meaning and perception so terribly?

The saving grace is that whatever clicks to alter the sense of the dynamic so badly can eventually unclick to restore it.


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15 comments:

  1. JzFebruary 18, 2012 at 10:17 AM

    ouch
    You'll get there, I know...
    but, ouch.

    (I'd hug you if we did that sort of thing...)
    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. mouseFebruary 18, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    Sending hugs and hope you'll find your "reset" or "on" button soon. But if it's any consultation, we all go through it.

    Hugs,
    mouse

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    Replies
    1. greengirlFebruary 19, 2012 at 8:04 AM

      i do wonder sometimes if i'm just less - well - less something - than other people that i go off track like this. thank you.

      Delete
  3. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    Sending you good thoughts...hoping you can find your On button soon. Take care of yourself.

    Fondly, Sky

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  4. JakeFebruary 18, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    greengirl, I can only echo the comments of the others who spoke up before me. No fun...from either side, by the way...and I hope things get better for you guys soon. I think Joy and I are going through much the same thing right now, so if we happen to pass you as we go around and around in this particular circle of hell, we'll be sure to give you a wave...

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    Replies
    1. greengirlFebruary 19, 2012 at 8:05 AM

      i will indeed wave - and i hope you two are able to reverse course soon also.

      Delete
  5. StormFebruary 18, 2012 at 5:54 PM

    Meh, I don't know how it happens, but I hope you cycle back up soon.

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  6. AliceFebruary 19, 2012 at 5:48 AM

    It's a little like when your bike slips out of gear - the smooth "fit" goes and everything becomes clunky. Keep pedaling, eventually the cogs will slip back into position and you'll be back on track. Alice.

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    Replies
    1. greengirlFebruary 19, 2012 at 8:07 AM

      that's a nice analogy - and i know it in my head - thank you

      Delete
  7. DeeFebruary 19, 2012 at 5:57 PM

    When you find your on button can you come help to try and find mine please? :)

    Dee x

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  8. greengirlFebruary 20, 2012 at 7:59 AM

    I will certainly share - i really hope to have anything worth sharing. thanks

    ReplyDelete
  9. sboFebruary 27, 2012 at 3:48 AM

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

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