I ended up further into "off" mode than i think i have ever been.
Not a hint of feeling submissive, could barely remember what it felt like.
I only knew it was how i wanted to feel, but no sight of the path to get there.
There was a point at which we were both trying to get back, both scrambling...
It is astounding how far apart two people can get so quickly, how fast you can both roll down different sides of the same hill.
Words are words, their meanings are fixed and clear. How can we communicate so well, so seamlessly, on, and have so little idea what the other is saying, off?
How is it that in a relationship - in a reality of two people being together - there are even times that things are on, and times when they are off? We are the same people across time, same history, same context... What is it that changes inside to skew all meaning and perception so terribly?
The saving grace is that whatever clicks to alter the sense of the dynamic so badly can eventually unclick to restore it.