Dancing

(I wrote this while i was away)

Here where we are working we had some free time waiting out a storm. The storm moved a different direction finally and missed us, but we were all gathered in one place, lots of mostly really young folks, several different cultures. There was beer, and rum and music. So there was dancing...

I can't dance.  I have no rhythm. I can't move that way.  I look utterly foolish. I feel utterly foolish. 

I love watching people who can dance though. Any type of dancing, from stiff and formal, choreographed and rehearsed, to spontaneous and free form, displays of pure strength and power to the most appealing of subtle movements.  This last night was not subtle, but it was certainly not stiff, formal, or rehearsed.  

Dancing is about sex, of course: sex, and sexuality, and seduction, and the tease, and the pursuit - not the capture or the capitulation, but all the fun leading up to it - all played out in so many variations, so many flavors. 

As i watched, it had me thinking about my flavor.  So clearly not vanilla, but also not what this dancing was. 

This was easy, care free, open, and fun... It was ~ I'm here, I could be interested,  wanna see where the night takes us? ~   Lots of back and forth, lots of suggestion, not much commitment, and no hurt feelings.   This was erotic, and intriguing to watch.  

It was the negotiation.  And that's why it wasn't my flavor.  Not just because i am so very not in the market, but negotiating doesn't do it for me.  Part of the mis-fit is the need to attract interest, and the possibility that i won't be found interesting enough.  But there is also the implication that i get to choose you, I might say yes or i might say no... at any point along the way.   

Not that i can, but if i could dance, i think my flavor would be a formal waltz:  he approaches, offers his hand, she may accept or decline... if she accepts though, the understanding is that she will follow his lead, go where he goes, no further discussion, no negotiation.