Monday, September 17, 2012

Cycles

I participated in a professional seminar of sorts last week and one of the activities was to identify why we were at the point in our careers that we were. This drove home something that I have always known about myself: I have never had my ideal future mapped out in my head, I make each big decision as it comes.  I have a very strong sense of who I am, what I value, what I enjoy, and what my strengths and weaknesses are. As choices present themselves, I choose based on that moment.  This has led me into two different careers that I love and my current job, which I really love.

It has served me in my personal life as well.  I try to do things and make decisions intentionally, but not at all towards a pre-determined path.  And I am incredibly fortunate in the people and relationships I have in my life.

The trick with this way of going through life though seems to be recognizing when the big decisions are there to be made. I am certain I have missed those moments before just as i know i have made poor choices at different times also.   Sometimes circumstances are such that the need to make a choice is unavoidable.  Other times, the feeling that a change is coming just starts to grow and take shape until it is inevitable.  That's the case now.


I started this blog three years ago in September.  The several years prior to that had been a time of intense focus and concentration on me, on my goals.  As that work started to bear fruit, my focus shifted, very unexpectedly, to us.

The past three years have been a lot of thought and learning and work, by both of us, and about "Us".   A blog would seem, at face value, to be all about "me," but in fact it has been a very big help to the work on us.

And the "us" is pretty stable now, engaged, excited, connected, stronger by far than ever before. And now?  I feel us looking outward now.  There's another shift coming or it's already in the works i think. We are not at a destination we had been waiting for; we are ready to be and do things we weren't before though.



I looked back at some of my first posts in September three years ago.  This was what i hoped then, and it has indeed come to be.


i woke up again at 3 this morning and couldn't fall back asleep
i lay there thinking about you - imaginging/remembering your hands on me
your hands feeling me, making me feel,
moving my body to where and how you want it
i ached to have you there and not imagined

this is something very new
previously i cringed at the thought of what you must feel touching me
so i never really experienced the feel of you on me
and i dont think you felt right to take command of my body

i never had this kind of aching before
now i can't imagine going back
i think you feel the right of it now
i hope it is pleasing for you 
i hope it becomes part of you

28 comments:

  1. That was a lovely poem and happy blogiversary to you as well!

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    1. Thank you - angst seems to bring out the best...

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  2. Happy Blogaversary. And the poem really is lovely.

    It's neat to be able to look back at where we have been (personally I avoid my old posts. I didn't do line breaks and they are horribly difficult to read lol).

    I love your blog and am happy to see it have another birthday.

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    1. thank you so much - some looking back makes me cringe, some not so much.

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  3. Happy Blogaversary! I've loved being along for the ride on your journey so far, and look forward to more...

    hugs,

    aisha

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  4. Wow three years! Congrats. Maybe in another three you'll come back to this post!?

    Hugs,
    mouse

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    1. thank you - perhaps - it's hard for me to imagine, but maybe

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  5. greengirl- Lovely post.
    I liked reading your thought process about not having a grand future plotted out but taking decisions as they come. It iss always great to stand at the edge...of not knowing where you were going to end up but being ready for it nontheless.
    Happy Blog Anniversary!
    Seriously enjoy your blog and very happy to have made your acquaintance :o)

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    1. thank you and likewise. This seems to be the only way i can function, i am unable to envision a mapped out future when i try. I suppose knowing that helps with the being ready.

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  6. Love the poem, I'm with lil though, I cringe reading old posts and try to avoid at all costs because they sound so full of me me me....... Wait, that might not have changed much actually lol!
    Happy blogaversary, look forward to seeing where these winds of change take you now :)

    Dee x

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  7. I think that is very interesting what you shared about making choices and your path. It shows that you have an adventuresome spirit I think. I'm glad you have shared your adventures with us these three years.

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    1. thanks - and thank you for being along as well.

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  8. Wow, three years! Congrats!

    *hugs*

    Turiya

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  9. I'm just so thankful you didn't end this post with a "and now I must end this blog"!
    Congrats to three years of writing and discovering.

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    1. thank you. I do feel i have less to say, or something to say less often. But i will probably continue, just at a slower pace.

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  10. Hi gg - I'm a little late to the party but here's wishing you and your blog "Many Happy Returns". Alice xx

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  11. Time certainly does fly. I think it's rather wonderful to have a record of thoughts and to look back and see that you've accomplished your goals. Happy blogging anniversary!

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    1. thank you - it's good too to remember what my purpose was - to see when i go too far off track.

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  12. I have a lot of respect for anyone who lets it all out there...

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  13. Since I only recently stumbled over your blog, I panicked, sure you were going to end with the "and now, it's over." REALLY glad you didn't! I enjoyed the look back, too. Beautiful-here's hoping the next three bring you both equally good and interesting changes

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  14. Thank you. I like where i am right now - so a part of me wishes nothing would change. I know that's silly, and impossible...

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