Tuesday, September 25, 2012

intersecting planes

Mind-body. Or maybe emotional-physical.  Or abstract-concrete.  Interactions of elements on planes that hadn't crossed each other previously.....

I'm INTJ - in this case emphasis on the T for thinking (vs. Feeling), and maybe N for intuiting (vs. Sensing.)  I do live most comfortably in figuring out and analyzing, thinking things through, etc.... I know it's more complex than this, but i think of myself as fairly concrete and rational.  It's not that I don't have emotions, it's just that i'm not especially adept at dealing in their realm.  In fact, i have very little handle on them and am too often at their mercy.

The mind to body connection i get - specifically, the way he plays with my mind and the way that arouses me, leaves me wet and with a terribly empty, wanting to be filled feeling.  He can say a few words, give a look, make a small suggestion, put me in a tiny predicament.... and my body is right there, listening, waiting, thrumming.

It's the body to mind thing that still floors me.  It's related to the "why is sex so important anyhow?" thing - which also still completely floors me.

Last week i was a bit cranky, had a little attitude, was a bit on edge and kind of wound up.  This is what led to the "Making me submissive" (see previous post).   I hadn't admitted to myself how overwhelmed, stressed, and disconnected i really felt.  He put the cuffs on my wrists and ankles, then left me working. That's the first body to mind intersection - i do understand operant conditioning - but it still surprises me that the feel of the cuffs changes my mindset so easily.

Later he called me to the bedroom, there were a few barely under my breath mutterings, but i went.  I imagined there would be spanking, and implements i don't care for, and probably tears.  I didn't wanna - but i knew that really i needed it and it would be good for me and good for us - i was angry and sulky but also glad he was making time and doing it.

Instead he went for the large plug.  From my body's reaction to the cold lube onward i was resistant. And of course - resistance is futile (i had to - sorry). He pushed, slowly but with force.  I was in pain, i was fighting it, and i was fearful, fearful of the part where it burns the worst - and mostly fearful of the feeling that always overcomes me once it seats fully in. Because that physical moment and sensation has always made me instantly and overwhelmingly submissive, all other feelings and emotions disappear. I am completely his.

That is for me the strongest example of the body ruling the mind.  Of course it's not just the physical that has the impact - it is a huge imposition of his dominance that particular action is.  And others work the same way - spanking of course, but also his touching me when and how he pleases, his hands on or even near my throat.  It may be painful, or arousing, or just claiming - but he can use all those physical sensations to put my mind where he wants it.  I find that fascinating.




18 comments:

  1. Hey, we're 75% letter-like!

    It really is great when they can find the trigger to making our minds let go of control. (A very different post with but with similar basis has been brewing over here for a while, too...)

    The thing is, I think our mind still has to participate - even if it's just to be complicit in it's own downfall... But it's not the logical part of our brain that does that - it's the one that prioritizes wants...

    Or that's how it seems with mine, anyhow... (maybe that particular bit is stored in the other 25%)

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    1. Jz,
      I think you are absolutely right - especially the degree to which we actually allow or contribute to our own conditioning is amazing, sometimes even fully aware.

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  2. I'm not going to say a word, green girl. I'm just going to re read it for the fourth time and keep nodding.

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    1. i had a feeling it's not a completely unique-to-me kind of thing. makes me wonder though...

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  3. beautifully said green girl ... i really enjoy reading your blog you articulate sensations wonderfully xx

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    1. Ava Grace,
      thank you so much - that means a lot.

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  4. I concur! There is not much in my world that jolts me into my most submissive place like having a large plug inserted.
    But your words are much more thoughtful and more self-aware than I had given thought on the subject. So thank you for that!

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    1. this girl,
      recent events here by me have made me stop and think about it all - and it is intriguing. thanks.

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  5. I'm similar in terms of what can plunge me into that submissive mindset. Fighting it is something I can't help at times but the relief of letting go when I give in is incredible. And yes, it IS totally fascinating :)

    Dee x

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    1. Dee,
      occasionally i can not resist - and i know it's better if i con't - so much metaphor going on with it all, no?

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  6. I love how he took control of it all. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Kitty,
      Thank you - i love when he does that too.

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  7. I want to have something really intelligent sounding to contribute here...But I don't, which is probably why I didn't comment until now.
    But this post has stuck with me and I just really love the way you expressed the way physical and mental intersect.

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    1. lil,
      thank you. Mostly I just wonder at these things - i have no explanations or anything at all.

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  8. I have been thinking a little recently about the submissive "mindset" (thanks Dee) and how it compares to the mind of someone under mild hypnosis.

    Now I know that sounds a little spooky and peverse :-), but when I get "there" it feels just how I imagine hypnosis might - aware but not quite in the same way. I also often have a little trouble with my memory afterwards.

    The importance of physical triggers is well known in hypnosis (touches, finger clicks, certain sounds) The hypnotist concentrates the mind of the subject on a particular physical sensation and this allows the rest of the consciouness to be released and opened up to suggestion.

    Maybe I'm completely off course with all this but, in any case, thanks for the great post gg.

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    1. Alice,
      I hadn't at all made that connection - but it's a really interesting idea. I bet there are a lot of similar pathways involved. Someone should do a study......

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  9. We always thing that the mind controls the body, but in so many ways, the body has influence over the mind as well. Often I think we don't even realize when it happens.

    I'm INTJ too, greengirl. Perhaps that explains why I always seem to connect with your writing so well!

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    1. Jake,
      Interesting - i have "met" a few people who are the same- i do wonder if it predisposes one to this way of thinking about life - it is not one of the more common letter arrangements.

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