intersecting planes

Mind-body. Or maybe emotional-physical.  Or abstract-concrete.  Interactions of elements on planes that hadn't crossed each other previously.....

I'm INTJ - in this case emphasis on the T for thinking (vs. Feeling), and maybe N for intuiting (vs. Sensing.)  I do live most comfortably in figuring out and analyzing, thinking things through, etc.... I know it's more complex than this, but i think of myself as fairly concrete and rational.  It's not that I don't have emotions, it's just that i'm not especially adept at dealing in their realm.  In fact, i have very little handle on them and am too often at their mercy.

The mind to body connection i get - specifically, the way he plays with my mind and the way that arouses me, leaves me wet and with a terribly empty, wanting to be filled feeling.  He can say a few words, give a look, make a small suggestion, put me in a tiny predicament.... and my body is right there, listening, waiting, thrumming.

It's the body to mind thing that still floors me.  It's related to the "why is sex so important anyhow?" thing - which also still completely floors me.

Last week i was a bit cranky, had a little attitude, was a bit on edge and kind of wound up.  This is what led to the "Making me submissive" (see previous post).   I hadn't admitted to myself how overwhelmed, stressed, and disconnected i really felt.  He put the cuffs on my wrists and ankles, then left me working. That's the first body to mind intersection - i do understand operant conditioning - but it still surprises me that the feel of the cuffs changes my mindset so easily.

Later he called me to the bedroom, there were a few barely under my breath mutterings, but i went.  I imagined there would be spanking, and implements i don't care for, and probably tears.  I didn't wanna - but i knew that really i needed it and it would be good for me and good for us - i was angry and sulky but also glad he was making time and doing it.

Instead he went for the large plug.  From my body's reaction to the cold lube onward i was resistant. And of course - resistance is futile (i had to - sorry). He pushed, slowly but with force.  I was in pain, i was fighting it, and i was fearful, fearful of the part where it burns the worst - and mostly fearful of the feeling that always overcomes me once it seats fully in. Because that physical moment and sensation has always made me instantly and overwhelmingly submissive, all other feelings and emotions disappear. I am completely his.

That is for me the strongest example of the body ruling the mind.  Of course it's not just the physical that has the impact - it is a huge imposition of his dominance that particular action is.  And others work the same way - spanking of course, but also his touching me when and how he pleases, his hands on or even near my throat.  It may be painful, or arousing, or just claiming - but he can use all those physical sensations to put my mind where he wants it.  I find that fascinating.