Thursday, January 10, 2013

His resolution, my ass

He told me a few days into the new year that he had made a resolution - to beat me more.  Apparently that is an entirely too ill-defined resolution though.  So he decided to have a systematic way of addressing his goal - he has systematic ways for lots and lots of things.  His system is to cane me daily - the number of the date being the number of thwacks.  Any days missed will be made up, cumulatively, on the first day possible.  So - when he's out of town for three days, for example on the 9th, 10th, and 11th - that's 30 on the 11th.  OK - still somewhat manageable.  But he will be out of town next week too.  And i will be out of town the week after - the 21st to the 25th!    And who knows the week after that?  I can be a little flip about it now - early in the month and from several states away.  But i am deliberately ignoring the real anxiety/fear about it, and the deeper thoughts about what it means, what he wants me to get from this, and how it impacts the rest of me, beyond my backside.  I'm also wondering very much about how the first of next month is going to sit with me, going from many back to just one.

18 comments:

  1. no great words of wisdom just that I loved the play on words that was the title of this post.

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    1. Sir J,
      Thank you - it was not accidental.

      Delete
  2. "How it sits..." made me chuckle...

    and maybe you can "buy" a payback...say...X number of thwacks deleted for giving him something else...a bj...or eggs over easy...something like that (and no, that was not MATH! *shudders*!)

    and maybe...it's gonna be fine just this way!

    nilla

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    Replies
    1. nilla,
      Hmm - that sounded like math - sounded like algebra even... i've found it hard to negotiate when i have no chips - if he wants a bj, or special meal - he just says the word. Maybe i just need to be more creative in what i bargain with? In the end - i will be fine - of course - and it has been oddly (or not so surprisingly) good for me. Just intimidating. Thank you.

      Delete
  3. oh lord, i'd be really really scared about the 1st of the month, because He's sure to make a really BIG one?! in my fevered imagination anyhow :p

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    1. mamacrow,
      Hmm - i was thinking about the let down and being out of sorts after having gotten used to a long beating then going back to one hit. I hadn't even considered the possibility that he might make that one really count. Now i'm more worried...

      I hope all is well with you.

      Delete
  4. I'm sure the play between "TOO MUCH!" and "not enough!" is built right into the deviousness.
    I mean, systematic approach...
    ;-p

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    1. Jz,
      Yea - he has layers and plans within those systems - it's kinda scary.

      Delete
  5. All I can say is "ouch"! My bum aches for you. I absolutely hate the cane!

    *hugs*

    Turiya

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    1. Turiya,
      I don't - hate it - especially, although i have a healthy respect for it i would say. Thanks.

      Delete
  6. Hmmm...I like systems, but you raise valid points, gg. When you complete a month it would be interesting to hear your feedback on how this worked! Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Jake,
      I will come back with a report - And what is it with men and systems?
      thanks.

      Delete
  7. like Sir J i don't have any great words, but I really loved reading about the intensity of this proposal. The commitment is beautiful.

    ava x

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  8. Ava Grace,
    Thank you. this has all been very, very good for us.

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  9. I must say that is the most unusual New Years Resolution I have ever heard of.

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    1. Serenity,
      Me too - and he doesn't care to share his reasoning, go figure.

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  10. Wow! How can you be so serene? Personally, I dread the cane. HE doesn't seem to have developed/seen the need for any sense of restraint when He uses it. I'd be sorely tempted to run away from home. Put me on the list of those who really enjoyed the fun you had writing this!

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    Replies
    1. Saoirse,
      The cane is definitely something that can be sensual, but pretty quickly passes into very real pain. I know he has never used full force with it - i can't imagine that. He has managed to keep it in the range of very very real pain, but not a level that makes me deeply fearful. If that makes any sense?

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