Maybe this needs a trigger warning - I don't know. I need to work it through - maybe other people have reconciled all this once and for all in their minds.....
It isn't a made for TV drama, it's not fictionalized or amped up or pretend or even far, far away. Three women, women now - they were children when they were taken. Three women kept locked, chained, beaten, bound, controlled, raped, used, hurt, starved, forced to bear children, psychologically manipulated, harmed...
controlled beaten bound used hurt manipulated
Some of my kinks, many of my strongest (favorite?) kinks.
I know --- I know my husband loves me, I know I want what i want and respond how i respond, i know how i feel about him and what he does. I know anything - however benign, can be twisted for evil. I know this isn't a bad thing between us.
I know i chose, continue to choose, fully, freely, unreservedly.
I know it's not the same - except that it is - in form, in appearance, the words.
I know that what is between us is good, is love. But it all still gives me pause. Maybe that's ok - maybe it should.
what happened to those women, what happens to many women we never hear of on the news is not okay. It should most definetly give us all pause.
ReplyDeleteyes - and - as you say - perhaps to be more mindful that there are so many cases that don't make it to the news.
DeleteAs Sir J said it should give us pause to think about, its not acceptable in these circumstances.
ReplyDeleteLike you i enjoy being controlled, beaten etc but its within a consenting, healthy and loving relationship....i chose and continue to choose this.
x
It is easy to say that is the key - the choice - for me it is simple to see, and feel. I have come to very strongly believe that, for our relationship to be good - i need to continue to choose it. That tangles in my mind with the idea of giving over all control - somehow the reality works - just the words don't.
DeleteAll the time. All the time I think about the fine lines. Existing in a world with evil takes a lot of pondering and perhaps it should take a bit more action. Both the vanilla and the kink side. I feel helpless in the midst of such tales. :(
ReplyDeletekitty -you are so right. i get overwhelmed too - and feel helpless, and end up just wringing my hands instead of anything that might be useful. It's a thing i don't like so much about myself.
DeleteI agree, it should give us all pause....we 'play' in a conscentual relationship...but still, it causes us to think.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
exactly! and i think that looking at it carefully from time to time is not so bad a thing in any case.
Deletegosh I've been struggling with this too...exactly the words I write, exactly the words I use to turn myself, and others, on. Words that shock and frighten a bit, to be taken in that way.
ReplyDeleteAnd my life is real. As real as yours...
But when it is kidnapping? Taken for real, Taking of CHILDREN? Who had no ability to consent...then it's wrong. I'm still wrestling with this. My only consolation is that I started writing this kind of porn well after these girls were taken...but for now? I'm living in a sort of fear that my stories could be taken as tacit approval that this sort of CRIMINAL behavior is okay.
Still struggling with it...
nilla
oh nilla - i get so lost in it. I love the stories you and others write - but i just don't see it as approval or agreement to anything beyond what it is - fantasy, fiction. That's too easy an answer - stories should make people think - examine or ponder what they feel - not blindly follow. We teach that to our children, the difference between stories and reality. As soon as they are old enough to be read to- they start to learn that talking animals and flying cars and any other fiction is just that.
DeleteWhat everyone said.
ReplyDeleteYes.
thank you mouse.
DeleteO, you describe the tension of all this so beautifully, GG. It is important to think about it and recognize that we're playing in the shadows. But consent is the key. Well, and the respect. And the love
ReplyDeleteSir was just saying that in a way it's harder for Doms, and i have to agree with that. It is such a fine line we walk...
hugs,
sofia
thank you sofia. i hadn't considered it from the D side - but that is so clear. To inflict all of this is, has to be, something to hold very carefully in one's mind.
DeleteI agree with what you say here. And well said. It's about choice isn't it? And yes, we are playing in the shadows.
ReplyDeletesin- thank you. there are so many ways choice can be taken away - this was a very, very extreme example. I think that is part of why it is so shadowy- so many ways to dance more subtly across that line.
DeleteGreen-girl, as others have said, it should definitely give us pause.
ReplyDeleteLike any other subculture, what we do is in the shadows and with events like these, tragic-horrible things that happen; it is easy for others to point to what we do--consensual, with love and respect and freedom of choice--and call it bad or wrong or immoral. But the differences between that and what we do are in vast opposite ends of the scales.
Bleuame,
Deletethey are different - it is easy to see that from the inside. I think we need to remain mindful of it all, as you say.