Maybe this needs a trigger warning - I don't know. I need to work it through - maybe other people have reconciled all this once and for all in their minds.....
It isn't a made for TV drama, it's not fictionalized or amped up or pretend or even far, far away. Three women, women now - they were children when they were taken. Three women kept locked, chained, beaten, bound, controlled, raped, used, hurt, starved, forced to bear children, psychologically manipulated, harmed...
controlled beaten bound used hurt manipulated
Some of my kinks, many of my strongest (favorite?) kinks.
I know --- I know my husband loves me, I know I want what i want and respond how i respond, i know how i feel about him and what he does. I know anything - however benign, can be twisted for evil. I know this isn't a bad thing between us.
I know i chose, continue to choose, fully, freely, unreservedly.
I know it's not the same - except that it is - in form, in appearance, the words.
I know that what is between us is good, is love. But it all still gives me pause. Maybe that's ok - maybe it should.