My son the other day was struggling to find just the right word for "unreasonably and hopelessly optimistic, without any real foundation in reality." I didn't want to say the words 'cockeyed optimist' out loud to my 17 year old son so I offered, "Pollyanna" It doesn't come from a latin root - so he didn't know that one. Oh well. Not much chance he's going to go back and read children's books about a happy little girl in New England a long time ago...
Anyhow - i tend to be a worrier - i can, admittedly, blow things out of proportion and see the downside of a situation a little too quickly. My husband tends the other direction - he's certainly not manic or all rainbows and unicorns, but he tends to be good at not creating problems in his mind either.
One of the things he has been pushing me to work on in myself lately (like for 6 months or more) is to be more optimistic about a lot of things that worry me - mom things, job things, life things, but especially us things. He wants me to believe in us, in who and where we are, and to focus on the joy of it, not my perceived doom and gloom.
So - I'm trying. And to that end - 3 good things.......
1 - Texting from wherever he was last week and telling me to wear my leather collar to bed, and to send a picture before I go to sleep, oh - and to actually go to bed by my bedtime.
2 - Catching up with the dates/caning - it was a decent amount of catching up, and it really is good for me - especially mentally.
3 - Biting and hair pulling and manhandling me around to just where he wants me - i do tend to forget that this is not how it always was - that it is him taking and me surrendering.
Every time i read here it seems i find something we share. Master is always telling me to look on the positive side and drop the doom and gloom version. I am trying....and really, what will be, will be.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
abby,
Deletethese are the truly hard requests they push for i think - harder than the physical for me anyhow. thanks!
Greengirl,
ReplyDeleteIt took me a long time to learn how to leave the worries alone...and I don't always succeed but I like to think I have much better coping strategies now, than ever before. He encouraged/taught me how to do that.
Though not all highs or rainbows, I do believe there is such power in focusing on all the things that are going well...and I love your list!
Bleue - i think it's terrific that he was able to help you learn to cope with the worry or to control it somewhat. I think that's what my husband is working towards - he knows it is part of who i am - but that i can at least be aware so i don't give into it so completely. And for me - being made to recognize the good things is an important part of it. Thank you.
DeleteIt is difficult i think to change ones basic nature, im a worrier, a stress head, and well Master is not, its easy for him to say I shouldnt worry, and i try not to but..i wander if its a being a mum thing?
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tori- it is so, so hard to change away from my nature - and i don't at all think i will change my nature - just maybe learn to recognize when i am veering too far from what's real into what my worries imagine. And absolutely - i do think it's a big part of being a mom - how could it not really?
DeleteMy Husband and I are the same way. He refers to it as I am a glass half empty person where as he is a glass half full. I think I am that way because I am always trying to control everything, so I have to know and analyze the problems, which I can't do if I am in a "Pollyanna" state. I think that is one of the reason' submission feels so good, as it often means I have to let go of my attitude.
ReplyDeleteNice list!
serenity - good to see you again! I think this may be a fairly common thing - maybe being female, maybe a mom thing, maybe just those who chose to comment... But yes - it is a very nice thing about submitting.
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