question about blogging

1. tori's third question, "Does blogging help you in any way, getting your thoughts together etc, feeling there are people out there that can relate to you etc?" and DelFonte's question, "An extension of Tori's question - you've been blogging a long time, what keeps you going?"  are related, so i'm going to try to tackle them together.

I've always had an up and down relationship with blogging.  I would not have found my way into kink or BDSM  without blogs.  Or, maybe more accurately, i would have been stuck with an image of it that was a bizarre mash-up from taken in hand, police dramas/horror movies, and maybe wikipedia.  Blogs let me see the range of the possible and the ways it can be real life. Having my own blog has allowed me to interact with real people (you), many just through blogs, a number through emails and chat, and a few irl.  

I do keep this part of me/us completely separate from my friends and family, work, people i interact with typically, so it is wonderful to have a group of people with whom i can share this part of my life.  I do wish sometimes it didn't have to be the "real world/real life" vs. "virtual world/online/virtual life" dichotomy. 

So - yes - to both of tori's questions.  I love meeting all kinds of people - people are fascinating, seeing the ways in which people make things work in their lives, especially the kinds of things i'm having trouble figuring out - i love the creativity, the ideas, the success when working at something pays off, seeing the solutions work, seeing the reality of failing and trying again..... It is encouraging, maybe inspiring, to see that other people are like me, or i'm like other people, and it can work, and can work so many different ways.  

Blogging also does help me get my thoughts out of my head; writing something forces it to be coherent enough to be put into words, no matter how awkwardly, which is far better than the tangled mess it often starts as.  If i can write it, i can start to understand it, and so can my husband. That's worthwhile.

Blogging has been a source of insecurity too.  That's all on me.  I have to say - I have gotten very, very few trolls over the years, likely because i'm fairly innocuous (read boring) in what i write about.  But in my head, i can get caught up in comparing, wondering if i measure up, if i'm doing it all wrong, if i should be doing x, y or z, if people take me seriously, etc.  Again - this is me - it happens in real life situations, and here. It happens far less than it used to, but still sometimes....  I've contemplated walking away when it gets to me too much, but on the whole, it's better for me to work through my silliness than to walk away.

Which leads to DelFonte's question, I've been at it a long time, why am i still at it?    The short answer is because my husband has asked me to continue.  He doesn't care how often I post, or on what topics, but he has asked me to keep this going, or at least to discuss it with him if i decide it's time to quit.  

It has changed over the past year or maybe two for me.  I find i have far less time for this.  I also have fewer questions or wonderings about the how or why for us, less angst about ttwd, and far more serious issues and angst about real life things going on.  And i can't really write about those things here in a meaningful way.  I do write about their impact on our dynamic, and vice versa, but, ironically for a sex blog, i still have to hide things that are too personal.    

There are also so many new people out there.  People who i think are probably also fascinating and creative and worthwhile knowing.  It bothers me that I just cant keep up.  The time thing.  So DelFonte's question is a good one.  Maybe it is past time.  But even though the size of my blog world has shrunk, I very much appreciate the interactions i do have and the people with whom i do interact.  

Thank you both for the questions.  And i am open to any others anyone may have......

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