He often asks me what I'm thinking about. Yesterday was a particularly all -over-the-board kind of day. I'm missing probably 90% of it - but this is the remains that was still swirling in my head as i tried to fall asleep last night.
Is my mom going to continue to be able to live on her own and be safe and enjoy her retirement and freedom?
I got a profile on fetlife and poked around out of curiosity - mostly I realized I'm old - am I too old to be kinky? Will I be soon?
Are the engines in ATV's fairly simple - simple enough that we could do basic maintenance, or are they more complex?
How would i change the dish i made for dinner last night - it was ok - but could be better.
Since we've gone far past the mini-van stage, does it make sense to trade that in for a different car - with all the other changes coming at us?
What about what comes next - two more years till both boys are off to college (all fingers crossed) - what does that mean for us - what should we be doing, what can we do to prepare?
Can we really kinkify our home at all - in any way? How will things in our daily lives change - or will they? Will it still be something that waxes and wanes with the demands of everything else? Am I just too old?
Why in the hell is it 87 degrees in early May - it doesn't get that warm in August here where i live?
What's up with the dog? He's not old enough to be slowing down like this, is he? Wonder how old he really is? Should i take him in to the vet? Is it just the heat?
Can we really impact climate change - or is it much too late?
I should move the roses there, and the rudibeckia there, and pull out the pachysandra, and finish the kitchen garden here......
What does my son's future look like? Is he really doing what he needs to be doing? What about the other one - is he alright or not?
Need to remember to hang out the laundry tomorrow morning before I go to work.
Work - oh crap - there's so much going on and so much i need to do I can't even let myself think about that tonight.
Why does he forbid me to touch his nipples? And why do i always feel compelled to try anyhow?
If we do get a different car - it should be a stick so the boys can learn to drive a stick. Plus - I miss that.
Getting divorced sucks. I wish I could help in any way. I don't know what either of them needs. That loss of intimacy - physical, emotional, all around - must be devastating, i just can't imagine. Although - maybe that intimacy hasn't been there in any case....
I should have bet something fun on the basketball game tonight. (I don't care a bit about basketball, but we happened to root for different teams this time) Abby has fun with it - i should think about that.
Why do i sometimes crave really harsh treatment and subjugation so badly, and other times i really want to turn the tables and be able decide what i want and when and how.
How do we get more involved and engaged in our community as our time frees up a bit in the next few years.
Isn't it possible to build a bed that doesn't squeak in any direction?
All the small and subtle signs of aging in our parents over this past weekend - what does the research say about successful aging - physically, but mostly mentally. What do we need to be doing differently?
Since there was cock-worshipping going on tonight - will he still want me to be available tomorrow morning? Or should i plan to go to work early?
Can I get away with not shaving - no - i suppose he does expect me to shave either way....
Since I'm in one of those 'want it - but not really sure i'm metally prepared for it' frames of mind - maybe it really is better that it's up to him after all.
Could i get into the right frame of mind? Maybe a good beating would help with ALL THIS NOISE IN MY HEAD