I've never asked him to stop doing anything to me before.
[Well, that's not entirely true. The first time he used a closthespin on my clit- it starts out tantalizing, then builds to arousing, then annoying, then painful --> all good; then it abruptly shoots off into a level and kind of pain that scares the hell out of me. I think I am, reasonably or not, afraid of nerve damage. What a horrible place to have nerve damage? So, that time I panicked.]
The point is though, that whatever else he has done, I've not asked him to stop. I've yelped, moaned, cried, sobbed, screamed, and tried to move away, even fought to move away. But on some level, I have been afraid that if I asked him to, he would stop.
But it slipped out this time - please stop.
He didn't stop of course, and I'm sure he wouldn't have any other time. It was something in my head. So he carried on and I got a little lost after that.
I say all sorts of things -- including 'please stop' or even 'no no no no no'
ReplyDeleteThey are noted
but not necessarily considered to be more than something someone says when someones doing mean things to them
If I use his real name in conjunction with it
It's 'safeword city' -- because it happens so rarely he knows I'm entering panic
Did you want him to stop?
sfp
I don't think our words mean as much to them (unless it's a safeword) as do tone and body language. So they seem to know when stop means stop and when it just spills out in reflex.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm pretty confident that if he had misjudged, you would have clarified in a manner that left little doubt. :-)
The thing that sticks out to me is "So he carried on and I got a little lost after that." Did you enter subspace? Have you before? Do you even know? Sounds to me like you got into "the zone" which is a wonderful place for you to be with him. Just guessing?!?!
ReplyDeleteDV
SFP,
ReplyDeleteI did not want him to stop, but I think i was afraid he would. I do have a safeword and i know he would heed that. I think needed to trust him more in the other direction.
JZ,
No doubt - it's me, I need to let go of thinking I'm managing things, inch by inch.
DV,
Honestly, I have, for a few reasons, stopped thinking about subspace, stopped trying to decide if it was or wasn't, or trying to avoid it. I did relax more and let go more afterwards, so "in the zone" is proabably a very good way to describe it.