His response to my previous post was along the lines of, "So, it sounds like you want me to be more of a pain in the ass all the way around"
Well....
Yes and no
That's kind of the jist
In a number of ways, "more of a pain in the ass" would be good for me
But i hate the thought that you think I'm telling you what to do or how to be
And i hate feeling like i'm doing that
But i need a way to tell you these things - for all the reasons i mentioned
It is hard for me to just say something and then trust that how you act on it is all up to you
Of course there are lots, lots more words in my head - but they are sooo redundant.
What a powerful post. Often it's harder to hold back words than to just keep going, at least for me...
ReplyDeleteaisha
I'm not so sure that saying what you'd like qualifies as telling him what to do or how to be. I think that rather depends on your actions after the information is imparted.
ReplyDeleteI guess the key is, does he react as though he's "being told" or as though you gave some input?
Wow. I know it was not easy to say what was on your mind. I wish for your sake he was more appreciate of that effort and willimg to be simply...kinder. I would have been quite hurt to get that kind of dismissal. Sara
ReplyDeleteAisha,
ReplyDeleteThank you. I do tend to just start going - talking or writing - i have learned how he listens though - and repeating myself doesn't serve a purpose. This starts a conversation this way.
Jz,
No - he doesn't take it as being told - i have in the past missed that mark though - so we both are learning how to phrase and how to hear things.
Sara,
I didn't notice that this could be read that way - i see how it could though. It was not that kind of conversation - it was said with a laugh and a grin and a strong play on the double entendre.
He does get frustrated at times with my doubts and need for reassurance, but he always does reassure me. And this did start some good conversations.
Thank you.
I also find my blog great way to communicate my feelings... i am rather shy when I have to voice my thoughts, it is so much easier for me to write them down insteed of saying them a loud...That's why I feel comfortable in my blog, it's good way of speaking up sometimes - of course in general cases, not requiring to reveal some private details.
ReplyDeletewarm warm hugs and warmly welcome to my blog:)
Vulnerable,
ReplyDeletethank you - i really does help start things going this way sometimes.