My husband hates to be a passenger in a car. He always drives. (Well - he will defer to good judgement on long drives when he's too tired to be safe.)
He says it's a control thing.
For the longest time (kinda still sometimes) I took this as a condemnation of my driving skills. There's an awful lot of subtle in, "I think you're a great driver honey, I just am not comfortable as a passenger when you drive."
And he always tells me to drive safely: when i leave in the morning, when i leave work to come home, on long trips...Actually - lots of men do that, to me, not just to their own wives, and other men do it to other women. And - I don't think they do it to other men - tho i've not payed too much attention. And i tell my 16 year old that... I wonder what the message is here?
I have in fact gotten royally off-put by the insinuation that i'm not a good driver; it has been the source of more than one blow out.
So - what is it about that? He actually sucks at being a passenger with anyone - not just me. It really is a control thing with him - and i know that. Prior to these days - i complained, he said, "Yup - I know - it's a control thing, I'm sorry, deal with it, I'm not changing." Now - i don't get to complain so much and i have to try harder to hide my off-puttedness.
But the telling me to drive safely - i still waffle on that:
of course i drive safely, what else would i do?
awww - how sweet, he cares and wants me home safely
does he think i'm an idiot? i've been driving longer than he has
he's telling me to take care of what's his - isn't it good to be the thing that's his?
yea, yea, whatever, i gotta go now.......
Right there with you!
ReplyDeleteThanks Misty - it is the oddest things that get me.
Deletei think it may come down to those little things that get us all.. I don't mind being told to drive safely/be safe but what I CANNOT STAND is being asked if I'm alright when I've banged my foot/finger/whatever and am stamping about trying not to curse.
ReplyDeleteHONESTLY getting cross just THINKING about it.
a) NO I'M NOT ALRIGHT I'VE BLINKING HURT MYSELF CANT YOU TELL
and b) YES OF COURSE I'M 'alright' AS IN NOT SERIOUSLY HURT COS I'M NOT LYING MOTIONLESS ON THE FLOOR NOT BREATHING/SPURTING BLOOD
Just cuddle me and console me or leave me the f*** alone!
geeze.
mamacrow,
Deleteyea - that's it - there are a few really silly little things that get me - they look so completely dumb to get worked up about.... yours, here, made me grin, thanks.
Oh Green-girl!
ReplyDeleteThis made laugh.
Mine is being told to "Just relax."
I hate being told to relax. Ooooo!
However, driving...you kind of need to do that safely. And if he tells you the above before you are about to get in a vehicle and that makes you irky.....then how is that safe? (trying a circular reasoning..though I'm sure you've tried it).
Bleuame - hmm - doubting the circular reasoning will fly - will likely be perceived as sass instead. Today - as i left work I im'd him - he sent the message below.
Delete....
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me: love you - see you soon
him: be careful on your walk to the car
GG, for the record I tell everyone to drive safely, men and women. More than that every time I say it I mean it. Far to many people think driving is like walking and do with out thought, I know I have. Driving deserves more than that.
ReplyDeleteI am sure he tells you "I love you" all the time too, I doubt we will see a post complaining about that though.
Sir J - No - you are right - I won't complain about that. And yes - point taken.
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