My husband hates to be a passenger in a car. He always drives. (Well - he will defer to good judgement on long drives when he's too tired to be safe.)
He says it's a control thing.
For the longest time (kinda still sometimes) I took this as a condemnation of my driving skills. There's an awful lot of subtle in, "I think you're a great driver honey, I just am not comfortable as a passenger when you drive."
And he always tells me to drive safely: when i leave in the morning, when i leave work to come home, on long trips...Actually - lots of men do that, to me, not just to their own wives, and other men do it to other women. And - I don't think they do it to other men - tho i've not payed too much attention. And i tell my 16 year old that... I wonder what the message is here?
I have in fact gotten royally off-put by the insinuation that i'm not a good driver; it has been the source of more than one blow out.
So - what is it about that? He actually sucks at being a passenger with anyone - not just me. It really is a control thing with him - and i know that. Prior to these days - i complained, he said, "Yup - I know - it's a control thing, I'm sorry, deal with it, I'm not changing." Now - i don't get to complain so much and i have to try harder to hide my off-puttedness.
But the telling me to drive safely - i still waffle on that:
of course i drive safely, what else would i do?
awww - how sweet, he cares and wants me home safely
does he think i'm an idiot? i've been driving longer than he has
he's telling me to take care of what's his - isn't it good to be the thing that's his?
yea, yea, whatever, i gotta go now.......