tori's room 101

Well - not really tori's - but she started the idea and it is an intriguing one.  See hers here.

So - three things i would want to put in a room to have never reappear - ever.

The first one is easy - this - his tongue anywhere near my ears - or his mouth, or maybe even his hands - i just can't begin to say how much i really can't stand this one.

Two more is a bit harder though and thinking about it took me down a path - one I've been down before, but it's not necessarily a good path.

The thing is - i'm not sure there are things he likes that i don't - or wouldn't.  I often feel like my desires are huge and his are somewhat more narrow.  And it feels like a sacrilege to say so.

I can't think of anything he's tried (except the tongue/ear thing) that i would choose to put away for good.  There is a particular wooden paddle that i DO NOT appreciate in the same way he does - at all - but he loves it and frankly it's good for me (as in, constructive, not as in pleasant) sometimes.

There are a few things he has tried that he has no interest in revisiting - his prerogative.  It makes me wobbly in a not good way if I feel like he does things to cater to my wishes - so it's far better if he chooses and i don't get to.

Then there are the million things he hasn't tried - lots of them i think i might love, some i think i wouldn't like at all, but then i get that feeling there....  In the actual real world though, odds are i couldn't handle half of what makes me hot to read or think about, and half of what's left i would likely hate the reality of.

It does feel like a criticism or a 'just not said thing' to say that i sometimes feel like our kinks aren't perfectly matched - or - worse - to feel like i'm implying that he's not kinky enough, or sadist enough, or whatever enough for me.

I am sometimes like a kid in a candy store - i want that, and that, and lots of that... and really - parents don't send their kids to the candy store with more than a very little money to spend - it keeps the kids safe from themselves.  Yes - I'm an adult - but in this case, i'm safe from myself, i can let go and indulge in my mind precisely because i'm protected from actually getting what i think i want.

So - only one known thing to put in room 101.  And no hypotheticals i can think of to put in - at least not without getting into the realm of the absurd.

On a less kinky - more serious note - I would put into the room things i really don't want him to do:  I would be devastated if he abandoned me - just walked away - literally of course - but also metaphorically.  Along those lines - i need for him to be solid - not to waiver.  I need to be deeply certain that he is in charge and that he wants me to follow.  i need to know that, no matter what i think i want, we will do exactly what he wants.