Wednesday, October 8, 2014

tori's room 101

Well - not really tori's - but she started the idea and it is an intriguing one.  See hers here.

So - three things i would want to put in a room to have never reappear - ever.

The first one is easy - this - his tongue anywhere near my ears - or his mouth, or maybe even his hands - i just can't begin to say how much i really can't stand this one.

Two more is a bit harder though and thinking about it took me down a path - one I've been down before, but it's not necessarily a good path.

The thing is - i'm not sure there are things he likes that i don't - or wouldn't.  I often feel like my desires are huge and his are somewhat more narrow.  And it feels like a sacrilege to say so.

I can't think of anything he's tried (except the tongue/ear thing) that i would choose to put away for good.  There is a particular wooden paddle that i DO NOT appreciate in the same way he does - at all - but he loves it and frankly it's good for me (as in, constructive, not as in pleasant) sometimes.

There are a few things he has tried that he has no interest in revisiting - his prerogative.  It makes me wobbly in a not good way if I feel like he does things to cater to my wishes - so it's far better if he chooses and i don't get to.

Then there are the million things he hasn't tried - lots of them i think i might love, some i think i wouldn't like at all, but then i get that feeling there....  In the actual real world though, odds are i couldn't handle half of what makes me hot to read or think about, and half of what's left i would likely hate the reality of.

It does feel like a criticism or a 'just not said thing' to say that i sometimes feel like our kinks aren't perfectly matched - or - worse - to feel like i'm implying that he's not kinky enough, or sadist enough, or whatever enough for me.

I am sometimes like a kid in a candy store - i want that, and that, and lots of that... and really - parents don't send their kids to the candy store with more than a very little money to spend - it keeps the kids safe from themselves.  Yes - I'm an adult - but in this case, i'm safe from myself, i can let go and indulge in my mind precisely because i'm protected from actually getting what i think i want.

So - only one known thing to put in room 101.  And no hypotheticals i can think of to put in - at least not without getting into the realm of the absurd.

On a less kinky - more serious note - I would put into the room things i really don't want him to do:  I would be devastated if he abandoned me - just walked away - literally of course - but also metaphorically.  Along those lines - i need for him to be solid - not to waiver.  I need to be deeply certain that he is in charge and that he wants me to follow.  i need to know that, no matter what i think i want, we will do exactly what he wants.


  1. Ohhhh I want to put tongue/ear combinations of any sort in my room 101 also. That is just nasty. Now what do I take out? Zombies and blowjobs maybe?

    1. No kidding huh? Though it's over fast. Zombies could go on forever.

  2. 'Yes - I'm an adult - but in this case, i'm safe from myself, i can let go and indulge in my mind precisely because i'm protected from actually getting what i think i want. '

    so much this. I also sometimes wonder about my husband's and mine kinks not being aligned, or me being more kinky than him, more masochistic than he's sadistic. Then generally I come to my senses and realise that it's a jolly good thing and more often than not shortly afterwards he'll do or say something that leaves me gasping and wide eyed and rethinking the whole 'I'm more kinky than him' rubbish all over again!

    1. It has taken me a while to come to this realization for sure. But you are exactly right. Thanks.

  3. thanks for playing along gg

    oh but im so with you on the tongue thingy....eww im sure they do it because they know its irritating and it squicks me out lol

    there is so much more i would like to put in mine, but then im pretty sure i would miss them if they were to not happen.....and its all subject to change at any given time!


    1. It is an interesting exercise though. Makes one think about what one really would want to do without and how we don't really hate what we think we hate. Thanks.

  4. I sometimes think that we all are so similar. Or at least I always identify when I read along with you...

    I like the never leaving bit and while I assume that is understood, it is good to say these things out loud once in a while.

    1. Kitty,
      I'm sorry it's taken me forever to reply. Truly the things i think i could survive have to do with him leaving, i think all else i would get through.