the vortex and the hat

Our new reality is that we have far, far less privacy, less time alone together, and more worry and more anxiety.  More of our decisions, by their nature, need to be made together, as parents, more of our established roles are upended by necessity.  I think we are doing ok - but it wears on each of us.

Opportunities to connect in even quiet, simple ways are fewer.  Intimacy is both harder to come by and much more important. Chances to really re-establish ourselves, to be intensely ourselves, are very few.

Enter the vortex.  And school districts with seemingly random school cancellation policies.  And a highly anticipated window of opportunity lost.

And the hat.  A friend stopped by, wearing a hat, which was much too large for him.  So he gave it to my husband (odd - I know - i didn't understand either).  And now my husband has been wearing it - for days - non-stop.  It is too big for him too, it is the f@#%ing ugliest hat ever.  I swear there was a cartoon when i was little with a character who wore a hat that covered half his face all the time - it looks like that.  And he won't take it off.  I'm sure that in writing this i'm guaranteeing that he never will.

But i'm having a very hard time taking him seriously in the damn hat.  Not that we are deathly serious around here all the time anyhow - but this just triggers the mental equivalent of an eye roll, 'whatever', and 'how old are you exactly?' all in one.

Realistically - and stupid hats aside - the times that he needs to be able to count on me to do all the things i need to do and to stay on track and even keel mentally without his needing to manage me also, coincide too often with the times that it is getting harder and harder to do that.