Thursday, February 10, 2011

He said, she said

I told him i felt disconnected, adrift, kinda confused and a bit lost.  Not that i worry about us long term, but just not at all right in the here and now.   I explained sfp's yo yo analogy - that i feel like he winds me closer and tighter, then lets me drift further away, then, sometimes, at the last minute, he reverses and pulls me back up to him.    And that sometimes i feel like he lets me go too far and that it takes a lot of 'stop and rewind the string' to be able to get going again. 

The obvious implication of my using this analogy was that i want him to be responsible for the winding, the up and the down, the working of the whole system.

His response to me, when i told him i felt far away and adrift, was, "so, then- come back to me."

Lots for me to think about in those two simple views of things.


  1. Thank you so much for this

    I wrote D 3 emails today -- 2 of them were -- "this isn't working" emails

    and the last was

    "you feel so very far from me"

    and then I read this -- and it was what I needed to hear.



  2. Oh gg, sfp was not the only one who needed to read this. Thank you.

    My word verification is Hydens, as in "I've been hydin'from the truth"? Yikes.

  3. Oh yes... believe me... I've heard that same line (more than once). It really does make you think, though...



  4. It is an interesting analogy really. You want to make the point that at time you feel farther away and yet you make the point by referencing a device that is always tethered on a string. Never really let go and only ever aloud to be so far away.

    A yo-yo in the hand is close to it's owner but that is not what a yo-yo is for, is it.

  5. O, I like what Sir J said.

    And what your Sir said. Yes, it's up to us too, isn't it? So why does it feel so much like they're in control of it?


    Thanks for the thought-provoking...


  6. mouse,
    I'm late responding, but i appreciated this - thanks.

    It was your analogy and it described my feelings so well. My husband soometimes has a way of cutting right through my tendancy to see things as more complicated.

    hydin - too funny - i think maybe me too - yup.

    such a simple line and such a huge challenge to how i had been thinking about things. thanks

    Sir J,
    Hmm - I really did fail to see those obvious parts of the analogy. I wonder if this makes it a bad analogy, or if i'm meant to up and down, out and back (cycles), or maybe i'm really just his toy?

    Thank you - i do tend to go round and round with the "who should control what". I know that there is a degree of laziness or wanting to just abdicate that responsibility at play for me. on the other hand, it is a dynamic with two people - i can't create it on my own. More to learn.