Lot's of weeks, when he's gone and life is busy and i get totally caught up in my work and taking care of the kids, i move into a different mindset.
I start to forget I'm his, not really my own. The longer or more busy and stressful the time apart, the further away i get from really knowing that. Not that i doubt it - if anyone asked i would certainly say it was so without any hesitation.
But my deeper consciousness forgets it. I can say the right words and give the right answers, but i have to force it, i don't feel it; i put it on instead of it coming from within. Sometimes i can't even put it on. Sometimes - well - sometimes i say all the wrong things all the wrong way.
So it's a good thing when he comes home and right away he reminds me, forcefully and with few words, that i am his.
I hate it too when that feeling is lost, when life gets too busy to have that spark or connection. You are so right in that you can go through the motions but it just doesn't feel the same.
ReplyDeleteIt does feel just lovely to be "put in ones place" so to speak after a time like that.
I need those reminders all the time! I feel so lost when I can't be my self and my self is "his". Thanks for saying it so well!
ReplyDeleteThose reminders are definitely good. So settling. They center you. Glad he takes the time to do that for you.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
turiya
Serenity,
ReplyDeleteIt does feel good - and i wonder also why need help with it - but it is what it is - at least for now.
Meow,
Thank you - it is a feeling i love being back to.
Turiya,
I am too - we are both still learning so much.