Who knew?!?

The past couple months have been a struggle for me.  Growing pains i guess, or learning pains, or - "i'm dense and don't catch on very quickly" pains.  

To sum up: 

   my husband has no intention of forcing me into anything

   he will wait for me to come to him, his way

   this sometimes makes me feel as if he is uninterested, un-invested, lazy, or just 
      doesn't care

    once i get over myself and come to him.......

    once i submit...........

    everything is better - we both feel better, work better, relate better, have 
        fun better, D and s better

But -  as much as i often wish it could be true, my whole life isn't just Him and me, naked and exploring the D and the s (and the B, and the other D and other S, and the M, mmm hmmmm.....)

In my overall existence - the past 4 days have seemed about 3 weeks long.  And it looks like that temporal distortion will continue awhile.

So the fact that things are more stable and flowing with us - is a very, very good thing.  

For one thing, it allows me to turn my focus to other things - like life and work and kids and plans and work.  Not that i don't function all the time, but i function better on those other fronts when i'm not pre-occupied or discouraged or worried about us.  Which is as it should be.  It is part of the point of the whole thing.  He wants me to do better than just function in all the aspects of my life, our life.  And he wants to be part of making that be so.  

But -  the good,flowing, balanced times always mean less blogging:  1 - i have less to write about - i have no great angst or worries or concerns - so i don't feel a buring need to process out loud, or ask for help; 2 - my life isn't exciting enough for the flat parts to be worth writing about; and 3 - that damn temporal distortion thing leaves so little actual time. 

And speaking of time running out....