We are not deathly serious here chez nous. We joke and tease and poke and laugh, and sarcasm is rampant. We have always been this way. There is a whole 'nother layer of innuendo, meaning, warning or submission between us, but no one outside the two of us would know, not even the kids.
But words have power, and lines can be crossed, even in jest, maybe especially in sarcastic joking.
"You're not the boss of me" is, as i now know, not an acceptable phrase in any tone or context.
To me it had no particular significance, just a joke; to him, it carried a great deal of weight - it was consent, and respect and choice to submit. Now it is all those things to me as well. Just like that.
He doesn't do punishments. But yesterday i was
But it wasn't a punishment - it was "what i needed." Which sounds like a game of semantics, potato/potahto. Somehow he has made it clear in my head that they are different - one is what he does, one is not. One is right for us, one is not, one is very effective, the other just not necessary. And our structure, our dynamic flows from there.
It was in fact what i needed. That "You're not the boss of me" came from somewhere and i did in fact need re-arranging. It was followed by some delicious torment with a bag full of clothespins and a pinwheel... but the delicious part wouldn't have been possible without the re-arranging first.
But before that came the words - his words - which i find i pay attention to more so than ever before.