Friday, January 24, 2014
proportional response
This is one of the little games he plays..... I'm sure he has his reasons, or maybe just because he can.
He grabs, tweaks, pinches, bites, or twists my nipples randomly, out of the blue, all the time. If we are alone, and if they aren't protected by a bulletproof bra (this is where those t-shirt bras come in handy), they are what he grabs to communicate, get my attention, test me, get his point across, or as a correction. Again - I'm sure he has his reasons - or maybe just because he can.
Because he grabs, twists, bites, or tweaks randomly and out of the blue - it takes me by surprise, every- single-time. And in that 50 nanoseconds after the sensation of touch has reached my brain, but before the sensation of pain, or the happy lack thereof, has quite made its way to its own part of the brain, there is time for me to recognize what is happening, to wonder what the hell did i do now, to flash through thoughts about how many ways this could really go, and to respond. The responding is where I get in trouble.
There is just no way to know, in that 50 nanoseconds, if this is a cute and affectionate tweak, a prelude to something very nice, or a, "Holy, M....F......, that hurts like Hell, is it safe for me to scream? can I just punch him? i really just hope they stay attached"
So i jump and yelp pretty much every-single-time. He doesn't mind jumping and yelping - when he means to hurt me, he generally likes the overt signs of distress - the squirming, yelping, jumping, the obvious struggle to maintain some control, even tears don't phase him, and i think on some level it all feeds him.
But he's all about the proportional response. And this is where he plays his games. If he deems my response to be out of proportion to what he has done, then I need to "practice." Practice involves me standing, hands down or behind my back, while he administers various "stimuli," to which i need to respond correctly - not too overblown for a small tweak, an honest expression of pain for a more aggressive pinch or twist, the right kind of moan for a sensual stroke.....all while he admonishes and chides in his most condescending, "I can't believe we have to go through this again little girl" voice.
I haven't figured out if he likes this game, or if he would be a little disappointed if i did learn to respond appropriately each time. For that matter - i haven't quite figured out how i feel about it - but i know that my overwhelming instinct is still to jump and yelp whenever he grabs out of the blue...
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Ah...i humble think that you both protest too much..wink wink...
ReplyDeletehugs abby
You might, perchance, have a point...... Maybe.....
DeleteMine hasn't critiqued my responses to stimuli yet. Hmm. That might actually be kind of interesting. Spank! Me: Yelp. Master: That little swat wasn't worthy of a yelp. Me: How would you know? You're not the one being spanked.
ReplyDeleteI have tried that line of reasoning, it was a complete non-starter. He's pretty sure he knows best.
DeleteLOL at Ticklish's reply! This kind of response occurred to me too, but then,the whole 'practice' scenario you describe - my goodness me! *fans self*
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't entertain the notion that I have a better idea of how much it hurts than he does. All part of the mind game really. And yea - I think he would be a little disappointed if the chance to play this game went away, and honestly, that chiding and being put in place hits me on a few levels too. Thanks
DeleteI hope you don't mind me coming back and saying more. I found this post of yours very interesting. Sometimes I wonder what kinds of sounds Master would like me to make, would be turned on by me making, and sometimes I think I'm not expressing the sounds he might want, even though I don't even know if he wants specific ones. For example, when he spanks me, I yelp Ouch! and in my mind that wouldn't be a turn-on. I think he'd prefer sexy groans or something, but when in pain, one tends to just say what comes out. I don't want to have to "fake" certain sounds to please him, but it is interesting pondering what he might prefer I sound like while being spanked.
ReplyDeleteWelcome back anytime! I've wondered too if I shouldn't be making sexier sounds, or quieter ones, or louder, or whatever..... Sometimes he insists on quiet, sometimes because of people around, sometimes just for the added challenge of it. But most often, he looks for me to let go of trying to censor myself at all, he wants whatever naturally comes out. I suppose it's like all the rest of me, he has grown to love me as I am, and too a degree as he has helped me become, but not as any other images or outside notions of how a girl ought to be.
DeleteSpeaking from the Dom point of view, I agree with what you said, gg. I generally want my partner to make honest sounds...the ones that come out of her mouth naturally. They are far sexier than something pretend, no matter what they are.
DeleteJake - Good to see you! and yes - that seems to be exactly what my husband feels about it as well.
DeleteUm, yeah, the practice thing is pretty darn hot. Doesn't sound bad to me at all...
ReplyDeletesofia
sofia,
DeleteIt's funny - it gives me mixed feelings - sometimes it sparks my interest, other times it makes me feel small or a bit chastised, or sometimes just thwarted and frustrated. But it does seem to reinforce the controlled feeling - so it's good that way.