If you had asked my husband 4 yrs ago if he could ever forsee a day that my desire would leave him saying no to me - ever - much less regularly - he would have laughed, hysterically, then sighed a huge "i wish, if only..."
But - it does - and he does. Which is good because lots of things might come to a grinding halt - like jobs, and our household, and our kids lives, etc - if i had my way.
I am now a greedy thing. I want him, i want the contact, the containment, the control, the attention, the whole big stew of dominance and pain and sensation and SEX. And i want it - a lot.
And it occurs to me that maybe, to a certain degree, it all depends on this apparent imbalance, and on my being denied.
He uses my desire to manipulate me - of course. It keeps me focused on him and waiting for him and motivated to please him - all of which i would (try to) be anyhow. But - him having what i constantly want makes the layout of the power grid painfully obvious.
I do worry that i frustrate him too much, that i am too over the top at times, that i am too needy, that he wishes he had a nice, normal girl.
But... if he always wanted more than me, more than i could provide, if the balance appeared to fall the other way in this - i would feel like a complete failure. It would crush me. No amount of reassurance could make it work. I don't think it could work at all.
So - he keeps me often in a state of wanting - whether by necessity, or by design, or both. And that inequality is absolutely one of the things that keeps the power flowing.