This happens too often, or some variation on the theme....
When he gets home today i want to be just right
I have such a nice image in mind
I see myself greeting him
I see myself calm, quiet, content, subdued, focused on him, attending to him, being what and how he wants me to be, adapting for him, moment by moment... in a word, perfectly submissive
The real life, active embodiment of this...
Instead i will more likely be wound up, distracted, hyper, and silly
or interrupted, edgy, impatient and sarcastic
or hot, grumpy, lethargic and lazy
or any number of other ways that likely aren't what he would wish for as he walks in the door
I know, I know - it is within my power to be the things i see
Stop wishing- just do it -
Make it so
I wonder if i'm even capable of such a thing....