Bedtime ritual here involves me standing naked beside the bed asking him (already in bed) if i may join him.
We keep our house on the chilly side, and since our bedroom is over the garage, it hovers around 56 all winter. In all fairness, the reason he is in bed first is because he warms the sheets on my side of the bed, then i get into a not-so-shockingly-cold bed.
That is indeed very sweet of him to do, especially because once i get in, he has to scoot over to his still-very-cold side of the bed.
But back to me standing naked by my side of the bed asking permission to get in.....
When i am exhausted and sleepy and it has been a long day, i really, really want to be in bed. I can feel the warmth, i can feel myself melting up against him, my body and my mind letting go and allowing sleep to carry me off. Oh how i want it.
And, when i am so tired, I have less than usual cold tolerance - remember i'm standing there naked.
So i stand and wait permission (usually permission is granted after some talking, or groping, or tweaking, or testing of some sort). So i stand there and try not to bat his hands away, roll my eyes, whine or complain, or point out how unfair and utterly stupid this whole thing is.
Not a glad heart sort of arrangement at all.
And i'm not sure it will ever be - at least not in the winter.
Makes me shiver just thinking about it! yikes.. i guess it would be mean to say "better you than me." And you know, you might not be crazy about getting tethered at night like i am...
ReplyDeleteof course - they do choose the thing that is uncomfortable, but only just - that they know we can really deal with, what fits for us. I maybe should have written more about the second half - the fact that i still haven't found a graceful way to deal with this, i am not in any real distress, yet i can't come to mental peace with it either. thank you for commenting.
DeleteHmmmm...this wouldn't work for us.
ReplyDeleteI am always in bed first. I would be waiting for hours and hours! ;o)
The things we do for love, eh? :o)
oh i know it is very specific to us - i just got to thinking about how i have never been able to come to terms with this one mentally. thank you.
DeleteJoy is one of those women who is always cold, even when the room seems perfectly fine to me. This arrangement would definitely NOT work for us. I can just imagine the seething resentment that would build up inside her as she waited to be given permission to get warm. Yikes! Definitely not good for our house!
ReplyDeleteOf course, it would be a true test of submission...
Jake,
DeleteI'm rarely cold, under normal circumstances, like wearing clothes... And yes - he has picked something that i can tolerate, it just isn't something i think i will ever find easy.
Hope spring, and warmer temperatures, get to your part of the world soon! It's funny how rituals are often a love and hate thing.
ReplyDeleteSerenity - i do too - i miss the sun. Of course - i'll be complaining about the heat soon enough. thanks
Deletesweet that he warms your side first...
ReplyDeleteand then tortures you with waiting in the cold... :)
a bit devious.
a lot owned.
Lucky girl.
nilla
Hmm - yes - indeed - and funny how the owned part is the part that makes it ok. thank you
DeleteOOoooh. Shivers just reading. It is perfect, gg-and the warming is awesome on his part after testing you, reminding you. I'm not sure you have to be graceful and happy about it-just accepting. Remember-when it's easy he'll need to think of something else.
ReplyDeleteSaoirse - it's funny - i've realized that, as much as it isn't easy, i miss it when it doesn't happen.
DeleteSorry, but that's just mean especial at 56 degrees. There are other ways to test someone then withholding basic comforts.
ReplyDeleteAnon,
DeleteIt's meant to be a little mean, or at least a little challenging. I find it difficult, but i don't hate the cold the way some people do - it pushes me just enough that it won't ever become easy, but not so much that i'm truly in distress. thank you for commenting.