Saturday, March 16, 2013

reconciling the contradictions

  • I think we probably all run into the points where our personal choices run counter to societies' dictates.  But there are also a lot of points where my personal choices run counter to what i believe is right in general.  I know that it all comes back to consent.  And i'm not struggling with the right or wrong of my choices in these cases; i deeply believe that we are treating each other with more love and respect than ever before.

    It's more a matter of - I noticed that my responses to these particular items were not what they would have been once.  Where i now think "ooh, yea, love that," or have a secret little blush and flush of remembrance or longing, i need to remember that those same things are reviled precisely because they are so often imposed without consent.  

    Thanks @[208899849140347:274:A girl's guide to taking over the world] for the comic!

    This is in fact how i would like the world to be - no - that's not strong enough - this is absolutely  how it ought to work, end of discussion.  This is what i want my boys to understand as the only right way. 

    Except for me - in my marriage (and other people in their relationships, if that's what they've freely chosen).  Giving him my "no" once and for all was absolutely the right thing for me.  His taking it from me has been the best for both of us.  

    If you don't want to watch the whole thing (or any of it), it plays off the pretty much universally accepted abhorrence of deviant sexual behavior.  This is a tame version, created for "real people" because real people don't condone these kinds of things and may not even believe they actually exist, or think thye are relegated to sickos (or infamous historical figures).  This one especially plays up the idea of being pissed on for the repulsion/outrage/comedy effect. 

    Except - When he takes me to the shower and puts me on my knees, I'm immediately transformed.  I need this, I welcome this.  This brings me back to him, strengthens my desire to follow him, and re-connects and re-aligns us both.  I am truly grateful when he does this.  


  1. You say "except for me" after "this is absolutely how it ought to work, end of discussion. This is what i want my boys to understand as the only right way."

    While on a very surface level it might seem your choices run counter to societal dictates, I see no conflict here, because that IS how it worked for you. "that's what they've freely chosen", That "freely" is the key. I think perhaps the only thing your choices actually run counter to, when you examine them logically, is societal tastes.

    The only difference between you and Miss Cartoon is that where she said no, you said yes. You were able to choose to give up that power. You weren't coerced or forced, by any individual or society

    1. lm,
      I think I've done a poor job expressing myself - or i'm being dense and missing your point... I am very grateful that i have found the other side, so to speak. I know that i am fortunate to have learned that there is a choice. I am fortunate to have(mostly)had my no's respected throughout my life. I couldn't say yes - if no weren't an option.

      The thing i was trying to say here is that i need to be careful to keep in my mind that i have been fortunate, i have been free to choose; that isn't true for many people. I'm not at all criticizing or questioning the lifestlye/kink/whatever you want to call it, or my choices within that.