Saturday, June 22, 2013


This post is pure wondering, not knowing, maybe even just exploring how much I don't know.

Our church is gearing up for the Pride Parade.  Here that means decorating, planning a celebration and organizing marchers, NOT protest signs and anti-gay rallies. I guess I feel a need to clarify, since some churches take such a different stance.  This in and of itself doesn't make me wonder:  I'm un-conflicted in my feelings about this topic, I am grateful for the faith community we've found, and my feelings about the "Christian-ness" of some Christian churches are unreserved.

My ignorance lies in the relationship between BDSM and Pride events.

I've read a little bit, and i know there is some common history, but I recognize that I am quite ignorant as to the roots of the Leather community and how BDSM communities grew out of? alongside? that movement.  Frankly, I don't know a lot about the BDSM community at all.

And that did make me wonder.

It is easy for me to be ignorant of the BDSM/kink community. I don't, strictly speaking, need to interact with it in any way.  My husband and I can carry on in the privacy of our home without any infringement on our lifestyle. In fact, we wouldn't share that aspect of ourselves with our kids or anyone else anyhow. Some combination of not wanting to share this side of ourselves and worry about being "found out" are why we haven't searched out local people or events.

And maybe that is part of the point.  We can hide and still do and be what we are.  Such is not the same at all if the aspect that makes your relationship different can't be hidden.  Your choice is to hide the relationship altogether, or be known.  If we were "out" we would possibly run into misunderstanding, disdain, contempt, morbid fascination.... but not the persecution, hatred, inequality, and lack of civil rights that being gay entails.

I know that historically there are connections or areas of overlap between the gay community and the kink community.  And i also know that each is a bigger picture unto itself.  For me to try to draw these parallels is a bit artificial and tenuous.  I have friends and family who are gay who i imagine would be surprised but amused to learn of our predilections, and others who would be horrified -  just as it would be among any of our friends and family.  and - likely there are those in the kink community who are quite homophobic.

So - no point, no conclusions - just something in life that made me wonder about other things.


  1. I think your wondering definitely relates. Your kink perhaps connects you slightly to what is being celebrated in the parade.

    And may I just say I am impressed by your church. :)

    1. Serenity,
      It would be interesting to learn more about the connection and the history. And the other is a whole 'nother topic. Thanks.