Sunday, June 9, 2013

to what end?

Which sounds like asking "why?"  but isn't exactly the same

In this case - why play?   Why have intense sessions like my last post describes?

I didn't have a deep, unrelenting, pent-up need to get my rocks off at 9 AM on a random Friday morning.  Neither did he as far as i know.  It wasn't a long planned date.  It wasn't because i had asked - i would have asked for a long slow spanking if i were asking - and he's husband and master - not a service top, so it doesn't work that way anyhow.

In this case - we had this intense session on a random Friday morning - because he wanted to. Why he wanted to - i have no idea - and i won't ask.

To what end in this case though?

For most of the day, even after writing about it, my feelings were fairly unfocused about it: it was what he wanted, it was an unexpected bonus time together, it was intense which is nice, and orgasms are always good too.

But the impact of it didn't really hit me until later.

We took a walk that evening - yes - we are that couple, walking the dog in the evening, talking, hand-in-hand.

We don't often discuss play times, but sometimes he brings it up, and as we walked, he did.

He said again that he knew the things he had done to me that morning had been hard for me, but that he really liked playing with me that way, he liked being able to do that.

And that was the impact.  It was something he wanted and i had been able to give that to him. And that felt really, really good.

Beyond that in fact - it felt like settling a little further into what is meant to be, or peeling away another layer of what's not.


  1. I love your last sentence...peeling away what is not, and leaving what is meant to be...not easy, but so worth it.
    hugs abby

    1. Abby,
      Thank you. It seems to be such a slow and unpredictable process.

  2. GG--Ahhh! How that thinking thing trips some of us up *grins*.

    He wanted it, you gave and surrendered and it felt good.
    That's excellent! Maybe that;s the only 'end' that matters.

    1. bleuame,
      If only i could manage that surrender, gracefully, in everything.

  3. I agree with abby...that peeling away. To be who you really are and who you are meant to be... to be who he needs you to be. That is an amazing thing.


    1. bg,
      it is - and it feels so right.

  4. wow...some big scene intensity...and at the end, happy. I hope your head is back in happy place, and that your relationship continues to deepen and blossom.


    1. Nilla,
      Thank you. Our relationship is in face very very good. And I am grateful. I need that strength for the rest.