Thursday, April 1, 2010

becoming closer by becoming more different

The increasing dichotomy of us:

Two flat surfaces lie together fairly well - there are not too many protruding areas or recessed areas to cause a poor fit or incongruence. Two surfaces with their own individual contours and shape may be able to be adjusted, manipulated, wiggled around to be made to fit fairly well. Usually this results in some chafing or eroding of one surface by the other to make the fit better. The larger the projections and concavities, the more finagling and twisting and re-shaping become necessary. But once the two are made to fit fairly well - the joined surfaces are more strongly joined. They are less apt to slip apart because the shaped areas interlock more so than two flatter surfaces.

But, what if you could increase the depth or height or overall dimensions and complexity of the contours of the two surfaces, while still maintaining congruence? What if there were a way to shift around the edges of the forms from the inside to find the best fit, the most harmonious coincidence of one boundary to the other. Then, increasing the differences in the shapes of the two more, rather than less, would lead to a stronger union between the two. One edge bulges out in fantastic ways, the other yeilds to follow the mirror contour. One draws back and receeds and the other follows to fill the void left. The boundary between two such surfaces could become so deeply and complexly intertwined, that each side lends strength to support the other's beautiful shape. These would be very difficult indeed to separate.


  1. gg,

    Yes that's really what happens...O and my life became so very interwoven though our commitments that it's hard sometimes to see where one ends and the other begins.


  2. That's actually kind of how I used to visualize my relationship with SP - we're both people with all sorts of jaggedy edges but somehow, when we wrapped together, we made a nice smooth sphere.
    It's a lovely feeeling. :-)

  3. It is an absolute truth in my mind that the strongest couples are made up of the strongest individuals. I think that this happens because you cannot truly give yourself to another with out first knowing your self and second being very strong.

    That makes for a good relationship other wise it is just codependency.

  4. GG,
    I love the whole post and most especially the last two sentences.
    And the two shall become one. Like a merging of souls.

  5. Yes, there is something about being able to fit together...sort of like the way I find my husband's body in the middle of the night and he automatically shifts his leg to one side to make room for mine going over his; and then he lifts up a bit to allow for my snuggle into his shoulder.

    And, I completely second Sir J's remark. It seems 'spot on' to me.

  6. mouse,
    It is beautiful to read about the ways the two of you meet each other's needs, and still discover more.

    That is lovely. I think he must be a special person to have worked together with such a special person in this way.

    Sir J,
    I agree completely. I suppose that is one way in which the individuals need to be alike, rather than different. Strength needs to be met with strength, one person cannot be strong for both.

    Thank you. I used to thinkg peopel were more successful as a couple the more they ahd in common. I'm starting to see that differently.

    Yea, that kind of fitting is the best isn't it?

  7. Great post... I think this describes very much how my relationship with Asha has developed over the years. I think we're so intertwined now that it would take a microscope and fine pair of tweezers to pull us apart... and even that may not be enough because those parts will re-patch themselves in stronger ways faster than the tweezers can pluck us apart.



  8. Spirited,
    Pretty damn cool. I especially like that the differences are part of what help keep us so close.