Sunday, January 30, 2011

he's teaching me

Another entry in the category, "I never would have guessed..."  My husband has decided he would like me to own (and wear - sometimes) a corset.  Just saying those words sounds weird.  I seriously never would have thought... 

But he does, and so, after hours of research and websurfing, we decide on an off-the-shelf model to start.  One has been purchased.  (Actually two, because i was convinced the first one would not fit properly, and even off-the-shelf, they take a long time to be delivered, and i need it in time for the party I'm busy not thinking about - in two weeks.)  Turns out, the second (above - except on me, not her) does fit much more nicely than the first - which is good, because the first looked quite awful and I'm having a little trouble with this whole area anyhow. 

Part of my ambivalence right now is that this is something people wear to achieve an "ideal" look or form.   I don't have that form, steel and laces or not. I look a far cry from the pictures in the online catalog.  It is hard enough for me to accept myself as is, much less in something that is "trying" to make me look more ideal.  That's my difficulty, from my female mind point of view.

I really don't understand the male POV on this one either though.  For many of the things he does, I can imagine what the appeal is for him.  With this, beyond the resultant body shape, i just can't relate or imagine it.  And since I'm not feeling like i really offer that visual, that leaves a blank space in my understanding.   Not that i need to understand why he wants what he wants, per se.  But, really, to feel like i'm doing or presenting something he would value - I have to believe he likes and wants it.  If I can't imagine why - then I have to learn it, or be shown.  That would take time - time to play with it, time to see him enjoy it.

And that is exactly what happened.  He played with it - more to the point - he played with it on me, with me in it.  He appreciated it, had fun with it, was clearly affected (intensely aroused), and had that Cheshire cat grin that tells me so much.  And this teaches me - it teaches me both that it is about the visual or the overall effect or the form he enjoys, not what i perceive or think he should enjoy.  It is about his aesthetic, not mine.   Also - it doesn't matter that i can't imagine why it works for him, it does, and that is something I want to offer him.   


  1. greengirl,

    It looks like your wardrobe has veered away from business casual.:)Very sexy corset! Bet you look quite lovely, even if you don't quite feel that way yet.

    I purchased one about two months ago. I'm still a little scared of it if I'm honest. There seems be miles of ribbon and the fastenings are so complicated. I'm not quite used to seeing myself that way either, so like you, I've got lots of mental issues to work through with it.

    I'm glad you wrote this post. Maybe it will encourage me to be a little braver and take mine out of the drawer.


  2. Oh, heavens, am I with you on this one! I get that guys like certain things but so I totally don't get the why behind it that I am left just baffled...

  3. For me it is the shape it gives the lovely female form. Even if you aren't perfect, it still looks wonderful. My wife doesn't have that perfect form, but she looks hot in her corsets. Plus there is the element of restriction and being bound that appeals to me too. I thought I would share my point of view with you and hopefully give you some perspective.


  4. Serenity,
    I think that's great, that you have one. I couldn't tie mine myself - so i couldn't get a good idea of how it is until he helped me. I've been told that is part of the appeal for the man - that the woman requires his help in and out - who knows? Please let me know how it goes - how you like it - how he likes it?

    yup - adn for soem reason this one is even more befuddling than most. But - like i said - it clearly works for him, so...

    Thank you for your explanation. I have heard one or two other people express the same sentiment. I just have to take this on on faith.

    I suppose that revalation should have been more obvious. I am learning - slowly. Thank you.

  5. I admittedly love corsets. I love that he has to help tie them, and help me get them off. All of the ties and bindings make me feel ultra-submissive, even if I don't have the ideal shape.

    Plus, because he drools when I wear one, I ultimately feel like his sex goddess.



  6. Pink,
    Welcome. I've heard other people say the same sort of things. I'm at the point of believing he likes what he sees, it hasn't transformed to me liking it yet. Maybe...