Tuesday, June 22, 2010

home ec day

One evening last week (the week the kids were away) was set aside as home ec night. Not because my household management or basic homemaking skills were slipping - but because he could deem it so.

We started with cooking - actually - we started with me receiving a text on my train ride home from work telling me that by the time he got home, I should be making dinner - wearing nothing but an apron. (My aprons are functional - they cover the part of me that is likely to get splattered while cooking - not the parts of me I would choose to have covered, given the choice.) Also, my husband does not care for curtains; he strongly prefers minimal window dressing. Hence, our entire first floor is minimally window dressed. People walking or driving by pretty much have a decent view into most of the first floor rooms. Fortunately, the kitchen is in the back of the house. I was ok if i didn't leave the kitchen, but I was trapped. This made me feel distinctly silly and very self conscious which makes me giggly and not particularly focused.

I got much more focused after dinner when he informed me that it was arts and crafts time. He had started a project during the day and I was to upholster it then help with the final measurements, cutting, sizing, and assembly. This is the man who I had really thought spanked me mostly for the effect it produced in me. I knew he liked my ass warm and red, and didn't mind at all seeing some marks over the next few days, but I didn't believe it was something he really enjoyed for himself. Apparently I was wrong. So now we have a bench - it is nicely painted and upholstered and (so I'm told) presents my derriere and other bits of interest at the perfect height and angle. I'm just not sure what we will tell the kids it's for, now that they're home.


  1. "uh





    (lightbulb moment)

    "it's a spanking bench -- Daddy REALLY wants you to clean your room"


  2. I know a woman who had workmen install a spanking bench when she remodeled her bathroom..she told them she liked to read...shesaid they were like if she was going to pay them, they didn't ask questions. lol.

    And how old are your kids? I am sure you can dream up some story for them but nice you have a bench now. I am sure you will both have fun with it.


  3. I've been allowed to close the curtains ever since I told BG about the picture-snapping crazy lady across the street.
    I was pretty danged glad about that change of mind, let me tell you!

    (a new massage table, maybe?)

  4. SFP - i so did not think of that - it's perfect! they are getting to the point that they need to be put in place. Thanks.

    FD - Thye are a newly teen and a pre-teen. They are an interesting mix of niave and way too smart for their own good. The closest thing we could even try to call it is a saddle rack - but since we don't have horses, or even have anything to do with horses, that would be a bit hard to sell.

    I was so worried about someone coming to call at the side door - we're on a 'back door basis' with most of our neighbors and friends - so dropping by is not unusual. Not sure massage table would work - especially since it is clearly too small for my husband and the kids know that i'm the one with the license.

  5. I've got it!

    "shhhh- - Daddy made a massage table and he's very proud of it -- don't make fun of how it looks. Just rememeber kids -- measure twice -- cut once!"


  6. LMAO @ sfp!!!

    I say go with the first idea... tell them the truth. They'll never believe it anyway!



  7. sfp - tey woudl certainly buy that - but i still like makign them think they should shape up or else...

    and if they do - even better