For some reason though that evening he wanted me to run through tumblers i like as he watched me watch them. That was, in itself, new, different, and awfully uncomfortable for me.
He made occasional comments, and asked for my thoughts a few times, upping the uncomfortable by a few factors.
He let me know of some things that just do absolutely nothing for him - some of them got a huge inward 'Thank God' from me, others left a little disappointed space in my mind. Bluntly put - i sometimes - ok - maybe too often - worry and fret that i am too kinky or too much for him - it's a dangerous and unfruitful path for me to go down mentally -
But he did plant one seed - one which took me completely by surprise.
I mean - i really would have guessed he had no interest whatsoever - completely by surprise.... to the point that i've considered it may have been said just for the drawn out mind fuck of it..... which would also be new, different and completely surprising.
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On a different note - and in keeping with the theme - I've never had anyone ask me a question here - but i love reading the questions and answers all around elsewhere and i'm willing to jump in also.
My question: Are you gonna get them pierced? :D
ReplyDeleteHonestly - that is completely up to him. Needles, piercing, etc., are a huge kink for me - but they have been just meh for him. That's why it surprised me when he mentioned it, and why it might just be more mind fuck than anything else. thanks.
DeleteI wanna know that too!
ReplyDeleteIt can be so surprising, can't it? I often think I'm way more kinky and all that than him and then he'll surprise me by revealing that he's been up to a devious mind fuck all along... I think we're actually equally twisted but sometimes we twist in different directions, if you know what I mean!
I'd also like to know if you have any current rituals you have to do for him and what they are, and if not if you'd like some and what they'd be.
Ha - i wanna know that too - and i don't if you know what i mean. I do thrive on the control and there are enough aspects of our life where he can't play mind games - when he can and does - it does something for me for sure. I do know what you mean by equally twisted - i try not to think about it too much - it leads down a path of doubt that never ends well. I do have some rituals and rules - i promise to make that a post very soon. thanks for the questions.
Delete"i sometimes - ok - maybe too often - worry and fret that i am too kinky or too much for him..." Oh goodness, do I understand that! But then like mc kitten said, then he surprises me! I LOVE when he ups the anti on our kink together =) Glad I found your blog here....can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteXOXO Pearl
pearl necklace -welcome and thank you. I do love it when he ups the ante - especially when i can let go of the worry too, then it's incredible.
Deleteooooh! I went through that.
ReplyDeletebeen wanting to get them pierced for a long time but I really got courageous when he asked me, I looooved them! takes a while to heal but love them!!!
and you can never be too kinky *grins*
AtiyaLuv - it's funny - it was so far from what i thought he might like that i never seriously considered it. Of course now it's dug into my brain and i can't let go of the idea. And i wish i could believe that last part - depends on the day. Thanks.
DeleteLol @ Kaya's question.
ReplyDeleteMine is, how do you feel ttwd has changed you as a person?
Hmm - yea - good question - and my answer sounds all 'good slave' - but it's true - he doesn't call them 'his' tits - cuz he'd look funny with these tits on his body and boys don't have tits and probably lots of other reasons. But this is one where he absolutely decides - It wouldn't occur to me to do it without him. And thank you for the question - i'm going to ponder that all day while i should be doing other stuff - and then write out and answer.
DeleteIts not something we do either, watching porn, well we used to but rather than it being porn of the sex kind it was more focused on s/m scenes, he liked to gauge my reaction to what i was watching....i kind of miss it.
ReplyDeleteI really want my nipples pierced and hoping he will allow it at some point...
now questions
1) what would you really like to try but he has no interest in?
2) how did you both get to wanting this..kink, D/s etc?, who initiated it?
x
I know this makes me sound unbelievably goody two shoes - but i never watched porn before- i wasn't so much sheltered so much as just plain boring. When i discovered that s/m existed - i started looking at that porn - as well as reading. My awareness of my reactions to it - intrigue and arousal instead of repulsion - is how i came to realize a lot of my kinks or that there is such a think as kinky and i'm it in a lot of ways.
DeleteI've honestly never allowed myself to think about having my nipples pierced - I never thought he would be remotely interested.
Thank you for the questions - 1) the one thing i can identify from early childhood that made me feel in a way i knew it shouldn't was needles - he did try them once - it just didn't do anything for him at all, not bad, not good, just blah. I'm intrigued by electro play and i know he isn't - but that is likely me being a lot braver from the safety of purely hypothetical than i would be in reality.
2) I fell into it - a few years pre- 50 shades - but looking for something else on the web - stumbled onto things that had such an impact on me it was unreal. I brought all of it to him and asked...
Question--kind of in line with Lil's: How has ttwd changed you both, as people? Do you think there is a going back place? Do you think it is possible to take this all off the table (so to speak)?
ReplyDeleteBleuame - I've been rolling that first question in my mind off and on for a day now. I will post about that soon. As to the second - i don't think there is a going back - we are changed pretty fundamentally. But i also don't expect the structure of it or even our understanding of it and of each other to remain static either. That thought used to scare me, i have a little more faith now. Thank you for the questions.
ReplyDeleteOooh, questions - here we go -
ReplyDelete1. What is your favorite part of D/s? Least favorite?
2. If you could plan a kinky evening (no kids, no interruptions, and he's in the mood) what would it include?
3. What is your least favorite thing about D/s?
4. What does he most appreciate about your kink? (Or what do you think he most appreciates?) What do you most appreciate about him?
Have fun!
sofia
Ooh - those are good ones - thank you. As fate would have it - both kids are away at activities this weekend - this is so rare that we almost missed the fact that they would both be gone the same night. So - planning a kinky evening - i may cop out and talk about the range of things i like - i think it would mess with my head to try to lay out my ideal evening either just before or just after he plans one.
ReplyDelete