answers for mc kitten: our rituals my rules

My biggest rule or ritual has been in place since well before we were married.   I still don't know how he managed it because there was no part of me that would have considered the thought of submitting; we even  cut the word obey out of our wedding vows.  But i have never been allowed to wear clothes to bed with him, and for some reason, i went along with that all along.

Bedtime is our biggest ritual now, i must stand naked and ask permission to get into bed with him.  I'm not allowed to touch the bed or my body.  He sometimes inspects, sometimes tweaks or pinches, sometimes drills me on things i may have lapsed on, sometimes just makes me wait (our bedroom is damn cold in the winter)....   Often he's very light and even silly,  sometimes he torments me, sometimes he's exhausted and mumbles permission without rolling over, sometimes it's when he has my attention and uses it to make a point.

He canes me each day that he is home, the number of strikes equal to the date of the month, and cumulatively/retroactively for any days he was out of town (which he is most weeks).  I must, if he hasn't initiated it, ask him to do this. Early in the month it just feels silly - what do you do with 2 strikes of the cane? When he's out of town 3 days at the end of the month - the first day back makes a big impression.  Either way - it does reinforce all the things it needs to.

When he is out of town he leaves a t-shirt for me to wear to bed - one he has worn the day or two prior.  And he sometimes ties a leather strap around my leg while he's gone - for me to wear til he gets back.

I wear a necklace that no one would ever guess is a collar, but i'm not to take it off except to swim.

Then there are rituals that might actually be rules  - not sure: I make coffee for him each morning - or the night before if he's leaving very, very early the next day; I am to shave every other day he is in town and  always the day he comes home; i need to ask permission to play with myself when he's gone (and not play with myself at all when he's around); and i'm not allowed to scratch if i have an itch (dry skin itch -not that kind of itch) in his presence - this one is very hard for me - i have very dry, very irritable skin.

Those are the biggest - not a lot, but i'm very happy to have them.   There are probably other things that have become habit so don't really serve as rituals.

There are things that i think i would like, want, find comforting and grounding, that he has no interest in or does only occasionally: being plugged just because,  being told to wear cuffs or (leather) collar to sleep, but he only does those occasionally.  I like the feeling of sitting on the floor at his feet, he allows it but it doesn't do anything for him, it doesn't please him so there is no reason for me to do it.

In my silly little brain - there are many more things i often wish he would want - they change in my head with the wind and in the end - if he doesn't want them, if they don't serve any purpose for him - they are just silly and useless.

thank you for asking