Monday, November 21, 2011

small little wondering

i had a passing thought - as my father would  have pointed out to me - it will probably get lonely

but - i'll go with it anyhow

i'm getting a handle on being open and available and ready and as he wants me when he wants me, etc

which is all well and good - and which he indeed seems to like and appreciate and enjoy and take advantage of

but - how do i seduce him?  or do i?

how do i let him know i'm interested?

how do i let him know i find him - well - everything?

how is one actively open and available and ready?


  1. I want to sound intelligent here, I really do...But...My idea of actively open, available, and ready is well...
    Ummm, I suck at seduction and letting Alpha know anything. Well, actively...

    Now you have me wondering...

  2. W always seems to know when I step in just a little closer than normal and lean into him a bit...and blush for no apparent reason.

    That works.

  3. from the male point of view you could simply breathe.

    All joking aside what works on me is everyday tasks performed with a sexual undertone or edge to them. A playful comment or action where one would not be expected.

  4. What works for one dynamic doesn't work for them all, of course - but what works for me is that I let him know pretty much constantly how sexy I think he is. I say things like "You look good, love." Then when possible sexual action becomes more immediate, I touch him with longing, or gaze raptly at him, or ask him if I may kiss him.

    Works pretty well so far....except when he doesn't notice and falls asleep.

  5. That's a toughie because it's totoally dependent upon on the dynamics of the union I suppose.

    In my house I simply tell Him. If I get bitch slapped then I know it's a no go and if it is a goer then I'll also know about it very quickly lol.

    Good luck on finding out what works for you and yours...


  6. And again, it depends on your dynamic, but here in the cupboard, i just kneel next to the bed...or drape myself across His lap...or caress Him (when the kids aren't looking)or even fondle myself a bit, clothes or not. It's like putting together a puzzle, try one way, and if that doesn't work you try another, right?

    It's fun to figure out, too...and the rewards,well....:-)

    good luck with your puzzle!


  7. If you don't know how he would appreciate it, you could simply ask him. :)

    I have more to say about our particular dynamic in regards to this, as something happened just this morning that is very relevant to what you are asking, so I think I am going to make an entire post about it.

  8. What everyone else said about different dynamics, right? But what seems to work for me is practicing mindfulness. So, when i'm close to Him, staying focused on my movements, my body, His body, being aware of how i want Him, aware of His responses, enjoying the closeness ~ even if there's distance... if i'm serving Him in some way, being close as i hand Him a plate, being focused on the exchange as i hand Him the salt. Focusing on my feelings about Him as i make coffee or fix dinner. Being mentally attentive when He talks.

    i originally heard Dqwn {of Dan and Dawn Williams} talk about this as something she does.


  9. lil,
    i think that's a big part of my angst right now - is in general telling him intimate things - this included - not just because it's (shh) sex - but the whole difficulty telling him vs wanting him to just know.

    see - those are skills and charms i just never had. Which is a bit of a cop out - i have a tough time even thinking about trying.

    Sir J,
    no joking - i do wish breathing was all that it took. I would be very interested to hear about what it looks like for you - the sexual undertones, and playful comments and actions. I feel very illiterate at this.

    You hit on another part of the issue for me right now i think - in taking on my role as submissive - i've let myself become lazy - i've taken the, "let him do what he wants" and turned it into, "i don't have to do anything." It adds into other things i need to work on right now - thank you.

    DY and pepper - He really liked your suggestions for the direct approach, including his reserving the bitch slap option at times. (although - see above to monkey - not sure i have the more advanced suggestively self fondling skills) Thanks!

    he was in favor of this approach for sure - thank you. So - in a roundabout way - now i have.

    Thank you - that goes to the heart of what i need to think about and learn to do overall. I started to realize as i was writing that my question was simple - but that there was a lot more behind it. Thank you for this.